Rick's Ramblings

Convergence - God, Parenting, and the Early Church.

2011-08-06T12:55:00.002-05:00

Over the past couple of weeks I have taken a couple of training courses in preparation for my new ministry as a house-parent; "Love and Logic" and "Developing Capable Young People". While taking these courses, I have noticed some similarities between them and the "Transition" series I listened to a few years ago, as well as the studies I'm currently doing in my spare time on the early Church Fathers.

Relationship:
At the heart of each of these is the idea that relationship should be the primary consideration over all else, including rules and moral code. There is the belief that the use of Power to enforce a set of rules or a moral code through threats, intimidation, and punishment is wholly ineffective in producing an "internal locus of control" or someone who is internally motivated to live a spirit-filled life.

In "Transition," Wayne asks us to re-consider the primary purpose of the Cross. Was it all about God's need to execute Justice on someone? Or was it about restoration -- our need to be cleansed and healed? He then asks us to consider what is driving us in our walk with God; Fear of punishment, or Love and Relationship? Do we change by obedience (effort), or through growing in a trusting relationship with God?

In "Love and Logic" and "Developing Capable Young People," the central idea is to win the heart of your child so that they know that they are loved. Then, through that connection, invite them to learn how to be in a healthy, mutually respectful relationship within the Family, and how to be a needed meaningful contributor to the Family. Within this context there are natural and logical consequences for negative behavior, but they are carried out in such a way that the child knows that the consequence was their choosing, not a punishment done 'to them'; this preserves the relationship between parent and child.

Finally, while reading on the early Church Fathers, I have been fascinated with how they wrestled with the idea of the Trinity. In particular many of the them reflected on the relationship between the Father and Son. They concluded that this relationship was unique, intimate, unbroken, and eternal. This relationship is wholly different from the relationship the Father, Son , and Sprit has with Creation. For them the astounding news of the Gospel is that, through our adoption in Christ, we get to participate in that unbroken, eternal relationship. We are invited into the circle of the Trinity, and are now sons and daughters. It it through participation in this Divine Life that we are remade into who we were meant to be all along.

A bit of the Irish in all of us.

2011-06-12T20:47:00.004-05:00

I started reading a couple of books on Irish and Celtic history and spirituality because my wife and I went to Ireland as a sort of late anniversary present. I have been surprised to find out what Western Civilization owes to the Irish. When all of Europe was plunging into the Dark Ages, the Irish Christians were preserving much of the Greek and Latin Literature that we have today, including the Gospels -- one of the more famous Gospel manuscripts being the beautiful Book of Kells.

In addition to preserving literature they brought needed change (shall we dare say reform?) to Christianity. By the 5th century Christianity had become a Roman religion. To be Roman meant being a Christian, and being Christian mean being Roman, christians of this era didn't ever think of preaching the Gospel to Barbarians (those outside the Roman empire). The rigidity and hierarchy of 5th century Roman Catholicism could not be translated into the Irish tribal culture. However, a Roman named Patricius, who was once a slave in Ireland, would return to Ireland after being told to by God in a dream and find that the Irish were a spiritual people quite ready to receive the Gospel. They saw the divine in creation as Paul did, but this was quickly lost in Romanized Christianity. In short they believed God to be both Transcendent and Immanent.

This sense of the world as holy, as the Book of God - as a healing mystery, fraught with divine messages - could never have risen out of Greco-Roman civilization, threaded with the profound pessimism of the ancients and their Platonic suspicion of the body as unholy and the world as devoid of meaning. Even Augustine, whose synthesis of pagan and Christian attitudes is the most remarkable philosophical creation of Christianity's first five centuries, can come nowhere near Patrick's originality. True, Augustine's theories on sin will haunt the Middle Ages, and cast their shadow still. But from the celebratory spirit of the 'Breastplate' will spring the characteristic art and poetry of the western world.

--Thomas Cahill, How the Irish Saved Civilization

I'm sure this doesn't begin to scratch the surface of their contribution to western civilization and christianity -- I have come to appreciate their influence, which can still be heard in 20th century Irish poets:

I see his blood upon the rose
And in the stars the glory of his eyes,
His body gleams amid eternal snows,
His tears fall from the skies.

I see his face in every flower;
The thunder and singing of the birds
Are but his voice - and carven by his power
Rocks are his written words.

All pathways by his feet are worn,
His strong heart stirs the ever-beating sea,
His crown of thorns is twined with every thorn,
His cross is every tree.

-- Joseph Plunkett

Christ beside me, Christ before me

2011-05-04T10:10:00.005-05:00

My wife and I will be taking a trip to Ireland next week (May 10th), and I've started doing some reading to get into the Irish spirit. I came across a prayer called 'St. Patrick's Breastplate" also called "The Deer's Cry". It is said that St. Patrick challenged the pagan High-King Laeghaire by lighting a fire during a festival where all fires were to be extinguished. Once all the fires were extinguished the king would light his fire to show that he alone would provide his people with light and fire. Since St. Patrick lit his fire to demonstrate that he had a light of his own to share, the king tried to ambush him but when the king came to where St Patrick had been he only saw a group of deer.

I
For my shield this day
A mighty power:
The Holy Trinity!
Affirming threeness,
Confessing oneness,
In the making of all
Through love...

II
For my shield this day I call:
Christ's power in his coming
and in his baptising,
Christ's power in his dying
On the cross, his arising
from the tomb, his ascending;
Christ's power in his coming
for judgement and ending.

III
For my shield this day I call:
strong power of the seraphim
with angels obeying,
and archangels attending,
in the glorious company
of the holy and risen ones,
in the prayers of the fathers,
in visions prophetic
and commands apostolic,
in the annals of witness,
in virginal innocence,
to the deeds of steadfast men.

IV
For my shield this day I call:
Heaven's might,
Moon's whiteness,
Fire's glory,
Lightning's swiftness,
Wind's wildness,
Ocean's depth,
Earth's solidity,
Rock's immobility.

V
This day I call to me:
God's strength to direct me,
God's power to sustain me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's vision to light me,
God's ear to my hearing,
God's word to my speaking,
God's hand to uphold me,
God's pathway before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's legions to save me;
from snares of the demons,
from evil enticements,
from failings of nature,
from one man or many
that seek to destroy me,
anear or afar.

VI
Around me I gather;
these forces to save
my soul and my body
from dark powers that assail me:
against false prophesyings,
against pagan devisings,
against heretical lying
and false gods all around me.
Against spells cast by women (witches),
by blacksmiths, by Druids,
against knowledge unlawful
that injures the body,
that injures the spirit.

VII
Be Christ this day my strong protector:
against poison and burning
against drowning and wounding,
through reward wide and plenty...

Christ beside me, Christ before me;
Christ behind me, Christ within me;
Christ beneath me, Christ above me;
Christ to right of me, Christ to left of me;
Christ in my lying, my sitting, my rising;
Christ in heart of all who know me,
Christ on tongue of all who meet me,
Christ in eye of all who see me,
Christ in ear of all who hear me.

VIII
For my shield this day I call:
a mighty power:
the Holy Trinity!
affirming threeness,
confessing oneness
in the making of all - through love...

IX
For to the Lord belongs salvation,
and to the Lord belongs salvation
and to Christ belongs salvation.
May your salvation, Lord, be
with us always.

... translation by Neil Dermott O'Donoghue

And here is a shortened variation in Song...

sed oderit uitium, amet hominem

2011-02-18T15:37:00.005-06:00

I have been reading from 'Radical" by David Platt, and in Chapter 2 he makes this statement concerning a phrase that originated with Augustine of Hippo:

Habakkuk prayed to God, "Your eyes are too pure to look on evil, you cannot tolerate wrong." And in some sense, God also hates sinners. You might ask, "What happened to 'God hates the sin and loves the sinner'?" Well, the Bible happened to it.

David Platt - Radical, 2010 A.D.

I was going to write down my thoughts about this, but I decided instead to paste a few other quotes from Christians through the ages (and one from Christ himself) and let you decide what you think about this.

For a Christian is a man who knows no hatred or animosity at all against any one, has no anger or revenge in his heart, but simply love, mildness and beneficence; just like our Lord Christ and our heavenly Father himself is, whom he here too takes as his pattern.

Martin Luther, Commentary on the Sermon on the Mount. 1530 A.D.

As love is to good, so is hatred to evil; we wish good to them whom we love, and evil to them whom we hate. If then the will of God cannot be inclined to evil, as has been shown (Chap. XCV), it is impossible for Him to hate anything. ... What is found naturally in all active causes, must be found especially in the Prime Agent. But all agents in their own way love the effects which they themselves produce, as parents their children, poets their own poems, craftsmen their works. Much more therefore is God removed from hating anything, seeing that He is cause of all. ... Some things however God is said, to hate figuratively (similitudinarie), and that in two ways. The first way is this, that God, in loving things and willing their good to be, wills their evil not to be: hence He is said to have hatred of evils, for the things we wish not to be we are said to hate. ... The other way is by God’s wishing some greater good, which cannot be without the privation of a lesser good; and thus He is said to hate, whereas it is more properly [called] love.

Thomas Aquinas - Summa contra Gentiles, Circa 1260 A.D.

It is clear, then, that the man who does not live according to man but according to God must be a lover of the good and therefore a hater of evil; since no man is wicked by nature but is wicked only by some defect (lit. vice is a corruption), a man who lives according to God owes it to the wicked men that his hatred be perfect (Psalm 139:22), so that, neither hating the man because of his corruption nor loving the corruption because of the man, he should hate the sin but love the man. For, once the corruption has been cured, then all that is left should be loved and nothing remains to be hated.

Augustine, City of God - Circa 413 A.D.

You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Jesus - Matthew 5:43-48 Circa 30 A.D.

Confession and Prayer against the darkness.

2011-01-18T10:22:00.005-06:00

I wrote this in my journal today, and thought it might be worth sharing as a reminder that we are not alone in our struggles.

Waves of depression crash over me
then recede.
In one moment all is well, then in the next
a dark wave crashes upon my heart.
Lover and keeper of my soul
keep me anchored in you.
Let not the moors of your steadfast love break free
and send my soul into an ocean of blackness.
Hold me up by your strength when mine is gone,
and keep my by your side.

When the mirror tempts me to loath myself,
Remind me of the beauty you have wrought within.
When my body refuses to heal,
Remind me of the healing you have done within.
When uncertainty tempts me to live in fear of an imagined future,
Remind me to live in the certainty of your present gifts.
When the false teacher tries to cover your beauty with the mask of an angry devil,
Remind me of your single-minded grace and light that reaches into our darkness.
When the Pharisee tempts me to despair with their endless lists,
Remind me that you have done all that is required
and I may rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
And when the world tries to define me by what I may lack,
Remind me that my identity lies in you alone.

Rick Gibson in whom Christ dwells.

Every day has been a gift.

2010-12-22T08:49:00.004-06:00

Yesterday, all the little little troubles in my life decided to dog-pile me, and I started feeling a bit blue. But it's funny how God can nudge you and gently remind you, in unexpected ways, how blessed you are.

Last night I was having sitting in Starbucks with my 19 year old son, Zach, and we were talking about his plans for the future. This got me thinking back to the same time in my life. 19 was a year of monumental changes for me, I celebrated my 19th birthday at Texas A&M, then the next semester I was at a community college trying to get my grades up, planning to return. But then my parents separated for a while, and told me that I had to make my own way. Overnight, I went from college student, still depending on my parents, to having to find a job and support myself with little education and few marketable skills. I bear no ill will toward my parents, for even then I understood that they were having tough time. But occasionally I will second guess my own choice to stay in Oklahoma; I was free and could have gone anywhere -- Colorado, Florida, College Station.... But then I look over the course of my life, and realize that I've been blessed. Every day, even the seemingly dark days have been a gift from the hand of God. Who could have guessed that I would have gotten from there to where I am today. There are many things that could have (or can) dramatically change the outcome of my life yet, by the Grace of God, here go I. And though I am doing well financially, that is not what I'm primarily talking about, more so I'm talking about the family I have, the faith that has been refined in me, and the friends I have made.

Then, as if God is wanting to re-enforce this thought, I read this from "It's What You've Been Given, Not What You Lost" in my blog reader morning:

Toward the end of the [Voyage of the Dawn Treader] as the main characters stand at the edge of Aslan’s country contemplating whether to go further, or stay in their respective worlds. At that point King Caspian offers a breath-taking observation, “I’ve spent too long wanting what was taken from me and not what I was given.” It hit me smack between the eyes. There are two ways to live in this world, either being thankful for what God has given you, or growing in bitter frustration at what you’ve lost.

...

When you focus on what God has given rather than the things you’ve lost, you can know great joy and gratitude even in the painful realities of the age we live in. God is the redeeming influence in your life, not the destructive one. Those who seek your destruction are pawns in the hands of a diabolical enemy. As painful as they can make our lives, God is bigger still. He can even turn our losses in this age into a treasures far greater by making himself known in the midst of our pain and disappointment.

All I can say is -- Thank you Father!

The ten dollar 'Nudge'

2010-10-19T12:00:00.007-05:00

I wasn't even supposed to be on this particular bus but, as luck would have it, providence was on my side. I had originally intended to catch the 8:30 bus downtown, just as soon as Steph got back from dropping the kids off from school. However, the school drop took longer than expected and I decided to wait for the 9:15 bus rather than try driving like a maniac to make the 8:30 bus. On this morning, I decided to try taking the 'slow road' rather than trying to live life in the fast lane -- for the 8:30 bus is an express bus that makes no stops until it reaches downtown, while the 9:15 bus makes several stops before reaching downtown.

Steph dropped me off at the bus stop about 10 minutes early, and I decided to read a bit from 'Nudge: Awakening Each Other to the God Who's Already There' by Leonard Sweet. And I read these words:

Call them "coincidences," "chance encounters," "God-incidences," or, my favorite, "godwinks," randomness is a reflection of the fact that spiritual forces move mysteriously and "blow where they will." But that very unpredictability is what brings life. Call godwinks "stealth nudges."

A few minutes later the 9:15 bus pulls into the bus stop, and I along with several others begin to board this bus. A few people get on before me, so I end up in a seat several rows back on the right and, after looking around (trying to 'pay attention'), I settled in to read a bit more; at the bottom of page 103 I came across these words:

How many things do we attend without attention? Pay attention to ordinary things where realizing that there is no such thing as "ordinary." Nothing is ordinary. All things are out of the ordinary. Everything that exists is extraordinary and holds the secrets of the universe within itself. We need the eyes to see, the ears to hear, the nose to smell, the mouth to taste, and the hands to touch. Be transfixed by the ordinary so that you can see what you thought was ordinary is really a transfiguration.

As I turned to the next page, my bookmark slipped out of the book and fell into the gap between the seat and the side of the bus. I peered into the gap looking for my bookmark and found it there along with a ten dollar bill. Was it a coincidence that I was on that bus, in that seat, reading 'Nudge', and having a bookmark in this book (I normally dog ear rather than use a bookmark), and then have the bookmark fall out so that I find ten dollars?

As I pondered this chain of events, I started to put the ten dollar bill into my wallet but then decided against it and kept it in my hand. Why would I, who has no need of ten dollars, but rarely carry any cash find it? My only conclusion was that I would cross paths with someone in need of it today, so I was again paying attention to those around me. Was it someone on this bus? No one stood out. I searched the people at each stop, ready to step off if needed. The lady with the young child? No. The man in the wheel chair? No. The woman with the bandaged foot? No.

When the bus reached my regular stop, I knew exactly who I was going to give the ten dollars to. I was so stunned that the person to whom I should give it to was at my stop, that I almost forgot to get off the bus. There he was, a truly homeless, and downcast man. He wasn't one of the fake homeless people that you run across.. the kind that dress the part but are far to clean and go around asking for money. Rather, he looked like he had been rolling in the dirt and smelled like he hadn't bathed in ages. He wasn't bothering anyone; he just sat still looking at his feet, trying to look in invisible. So I sat down next to him and I told him this same story. He looked nervous and kept looking down, but nodded a bit to show he was listening. Then I told him that I believed that God wanted him to have the ten dollars and placed it in his hands. Then he finally looked at me, and I could see gratitude in his eyes; he started whispering 'Bless you, bless you, bless you' over and over again. I patted him on the shoulder and said 'May God Bless you as well', and went on to work knowing that God has spoken and I was able to bless another because I took the time to listen.

What 'Judgement House' did to me

2010-09-07T21:17:00.009-05:00

The fear that permeates religion demands that to spread, a larger fear must exist. Selling or marketing religion, as opposed to offering the wonder of love, requires a maneuver not unlike that of a pots and pans salesman, who is taught to introduce people to a problem they don't know they have then to sell them a solution he happens to be selling. Or more precisely, "Spread fear, sell hope."
Fear breeds in a cocoon of scarcity and insecurity. A natural human response is to bargain our way out of it, the net result being that folks who have come to religion by fear have really made a business deal with God. We are sons and daughters of the living God. We are not business partners who have made a bargain to avoid some unpleasant consequences.
-- Leonard Sweet, Nudge

Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. --John 17:3

I had originally planned on talking at length about all the reasons why 'Judgement House' is something that I think is a bad idea. Things like, borrowing the 'Haunted House' idea from the culture and use the fear it creates to drive people to a decision; how it focuses on conversion rather than discipleship, how those many of those 'conversions' are suspect, how it is a truncated Gospel that lacks the relational emphasis that is at it's heart, and how you have to pretty much already believe the Heaven/Hell/Divine Judge paradigm in order for it to have any affect on you at all. And, most importantly, how it presents a distorted image of the Father.

Instead, I have decided that I would just talk about what 'Judgement House' did to me, as one who was already a follower of Christ. In a post almost 3 years ago, I briefly mentioned that I was disturbed by the production, and that I wrestled with it's portrayal. But there was 3 months of wrestling, reading, doubting God, and depression that preceded that short post. First came the doubts -- could a good God in whom there is no darkness conceive of such torture? Is tossing someone into an eternal fire really a Just punishment? The production made God seem more like Nero, making humans into torches, rather than a God who loved. As a result of these images, I began to lose faith and in an effort to save my faith I began to read widely on alternative views on the subject. I read on the Greek, Roman, and Medieval influences on the concepts of Justice, Wrath, and Hell (among other things). And I read about and seriously considered 'Ultimate Reconciliation' -- so much so that I probably would hold that position today (there aren't as many verses you would have to stretch to believe this as you might think), had I not found C.S. Lewis's 'The Great Divorce'. It's is a shame that I had never heard of this work of his. Though it is fiction, I think it provides a much better way to discuss the subject in our time than images out of Dante's 'Inferno'.

So while some of my friends (and I do still very much consider you friends, even if I disagree with JH) are singing the praises of JH , I will be rereading 'The Great Divorce' -- anyone want to read it with me?

Oh, and just as an FYI, don't bother asking if I want to participate - I've been through that hell already and I'm sure you don't want to pay for therapy. In fact I might need to disappear for about 3 months until the belief in hell's ability to save is out of everyone's system.

Van Gogh on the Blazing, Majestic, Eternal Love of God

2010-07-29T09:56:00.002-05:00

In my last post, I very briefly mentioned that in the book 'The Divine Commodity', I learned that van Gogh used the color yellow to represent Divine Love. After learning a little more than the ear incident about Van Gogh, I will definitely never look at his paintings the same way again. 'Starry Night' was always one of my favorites of his, but now I appreciate it even more. He was one who saw the Divine in nature and tried to convey it though his paintings.

One cannot do better than hold onto the thought of God through everything, under all circumstances, at all places, at all times, and try to acquire more knowledge about Him, which one can do from the Bible as well as from all other things. It is good to continue believing that everything is more miraculous than one can comprehend, for this is truth; it is good to remain sensitive and humble and tender of heart . . . . For what can one learn that is better than what God has given by nature to every human soul -- which is living and loving, hoping, and believing, in the depth of every soul, unless it is wantonly destroyed?
-- Vincent van Gogh

A Dream, A Book, A Thought

2010-07-23T22:24:00.005-05:00

Several nights ago I had a very vivid dream. One of those dreams where I can still recall much of the details. In this dream I was at a church. This church was a one stop 'shopping' destination, where there were rows of goods and all the goods were uniform in color - blue and gold. There was also a restaurant, a laundry facility, and a large stage at the front. Many of the members lined the asles and were 'ministering' by happily demonstrating the church's products. At the front there was an elaborate performance going on, and the performers were being treated like royalty. It was a very bizarre scene. Each performer had several people surrounding them; one person holding a microphone, one person holding a camera, and one person standing behind them with water and a towel. This church was a very busy place but there was no mention of the Father, no mention of his beloved Son Jesus, and no mention of the Spirit. Nor any was there any mention of the astounding news of our adoption. Only this frenzy of activity centered around goods, services, and entertainment.
What does such a dream mean? I'm not sure about all the details; for example why were all the products blue and gold? I have no idea. However, I would say that in general it means that in an effort to be relevant to our culture, we have lost the heart of our faith. The dark side of Consumerism in our culture is apparent if you think about it for a minute. Owning particular name brands have become a way to identify or fit in with a particular group. (Think Apple, or Mercedes Benz, or Abercrombie) Often it's all about style over substance, and we buy into the idea of constructing an identity by consuming certain brands. Christian Products? Christian Entertainment? Christian Services? Has Christianity become a brand that you use or wear, rather than a deep relationship purchased by Christ that we walk in day by day?

A while back I did read a book called 'The Divine Commodity' by Skye Jethani. In the book he takes an interesting approach, using some of the works of Vincent Van Gogh as a launching pad to critique both consumerism, and consumer Christianity. A prominent theme in this book, that runs as a counter point to the shallowness of consumerism, is the the relational nature of God and man, and the power of God's Divine Love; Van Gogh would use the color yellow to represent Divine Love, and the sky in many of his paintings would be ablaze with this Divine Love. Sadly our ability to connect to God, and one another has atrophied in this culture. Jethani writes:

In his book Following Christ in a Consumer Culture, John Kavanaugh argues that our lifestyle of guarded isolation is the result of grounding our identities in external possessions. Consumerism has caused our attention to be fixated on the surface and style of our lives so that over time we have lost the ability to nourish our interior life. Kavanaugh says that without a meaninful interior life, a definable sense of self apart from possessions, we also lose the skills necessary to establish meaningful relationships.

The book is a fairly short read, and is definitely worth re-reading so that you can let the message sink in. I definitely recommend it.

The night before I had the dream, I was actually pondering Acts 21 and since we are on the subject of Syncretism, I figured I would share my thoughts about this as well. The details of Pauls arrest might be a bit surprising to those who have entered the fray of the 'Culture Wars'. There is some irony there calling it 'Culture Wars', when consumerism has invaded the church.... but i digress... Anyway, back to Pauls arrest. Do you know the details of what he was doing when he got arrested? Was he stirring up a crowd? Preaching on a street corner? No, in fact he says, "My accusers did not find me arguing with anyone at the temple, or stirring up a crowd in the synagogues or anywhere else in the city." (Acts 24:12). In fact, he was trying to show that he was still a Jew (who happened to believe the Messiah had come). He was participating (and paying for) a cleansing ritual at the temple as a way to identify with his fellow Jews. He was being conciliatory, but they would have none of that. It's actually quite a different picture than the typical American Christian activist isn't it? My thought? Maybe we fuse some of our American ideals, with our faith. And we don't give it a second thought because America is a Christian Nation right?? Yeah... right...

Not of this World

2010-05-07T09:40:00.005-05:00

Jesus answered, "My kingdom doesn't belong to this world. If it did, my followers would have fought to keep me from being handed over to the Jewish leaders. No, my kingdom doesn't belong to this world." John 18:36 (CEV)

Last night I watched 2 programs on the History Channel that happened to give some interesting insight into how a 1st century Greek (Gentile) would understand the New Testament. The first program was on Hades, the god of the dead in Greek mythology. He was the god that all Greeks feared, and almost none worshiped. They believed that no one could escape Hades' eventual grip. So for them to read in Revelation that Death and Hades' are cast into the lake of fire, would mean much more than just a place; it would read like a great hope -- the end of Hades' grip on any persons life.

The second program was on Alexander the Great's attempt to conquer India. As I was sitting there trying to get my head around why anyone would travel thousands of kilometers and fight numerous tribes in order to lay claim to some distant territory, the words of Jesus in John 18:36 came to mind. He contrasts the world's idea of a kingdom, with God's. The worldly kingdoms use armies, force, and violence to expand the territory of the King. In The Message, Eugene Peterson, phrases the last half of John 18:36 this way, "But I'm not that kind of king, not the world's kind of king." Jesus is a different kind of Lord altogether. He gives, rather than takes. He lays down his life for those in his Kingdom. He is one who uses the left handed indirect power of Love, rather than using the sword. He doesn't ask his subjects to fight, but rather live as he lived. He neither coerces people to be subject to him by fear, nor begs for subjects. He only asks us to believe that he IS the resurrected, glorious Lord. He is better than good; better than we could imagine; and worth following.

I am so here right now...

2010-05-05T10:46:00.003-05:00

"... a quiet hush imprints itself upon my occasionally frenetic thoughts; momentum is lost in that haze, and all attempts at forging new thoughts, new paths, new articulations—fall flat and silent long before their time.
Is this what it is to be content? Lost in the doldrums of ceaseless being? Where is the doing? The fear-induced striving has been slowly stripped from my heart."
-- ML, The Doldrums

The Doldrums beautifully expresses where I seem to be at right now. It's not a place of sadness nor is it a place full of energy and thought. For now my thoughts tend to gravitate to a singular subject, and the words to adequately express my thoughts fail me. I do feel a small restlessness -- echos from a past life of striving but, like Moses, I refuse to move on from here unless Father goes with me. So I am content to stay here until I feel his nudging.

"Even less can I deny the beauty of His love that unmasked those things; how it pervades my very being with ruthless and shocking mercy. How tender the heart of love that pours itself upon my wounds—mostly self-inflicted—and heals like a salve; it is the only true panacea, the one thing that makes the term plausible. Yet here I am in the doldrums. How long oh Lord, how long?"
-- ML

Coffee....

2010-04-26T08:45:00.005-05:00

I like coffee. OK, so I like cheap Coffee too. Sorry to all you coffee snobs out there, but it probably has something to do with my introduction to coffee.

You see, when I was in elementary school (in the days when we were living in San Antonio) there was this bus that came around every Sunday and took kids to church. This church was small, it didn't have Sunday School and it didn't have great programs. What it did have was a bus, and some nice older folks who thought they needed more kids around that church. So they would go to some of the local neighborhoods and pick up kids. Of course this was back in the days when churches were generally considered trustworthy and parents didn't think twice about putting their kids on a church bus. This church didn't disappoint either, the only crime they could be accused of is letting at least one kid have coffee.

I don't remember much about the worship services there. I know they sang, some guy talked for way too long, then they passed around a plate of juice and crackers which I was forbidden to partake of. But, before the service began, all the adults would stand around and talk while drinking cheap coffee made in an old fashioned peculator and eating a doughnut. So I decided that I should do the same thing. I got a doughnut (of course) and some coffee; which I first tried black but, being a kid, that was too much for me. So I added some sugar and creamer and that made it taste good to me. For whatever reason, these older (probably retired) adults didn't chase me away from the coffee. In fact they were very kind, and would chat with me just like they did with the other adults. In many ways they reminded me of my grandma, who also was kind to me.

Because of that church and their kindness, coffee and doughnuts became holy to me. They were like the bread and wine to me. Coffee is a sacred reminder to me; it is the thing I drink when I'm tired, or when I doubt. Since then, I've had great Italian coffee in the heart of Rome, and I've had barely drinkable coffee made over a campfire. But it is always a sacred thing to me, a reminder of the kindness of God shown through a few kind believers.

Book: Introvert Power

2010-01-21T08:56:00.000-06:00

Introverts are often misunderstood; even by other introverts. As Laurie Helgo, PhD, points out in her book Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength, if you live in America, then you live in an extroverted society and introversion can often be looked at by society as a problem or short coming. If we turn down an invitation to a big party, people will often wonder 'What's wrong?' Or if we say we need to be alone for a while, everyone worries. It's also quite common for introverts to think about their answer before they throw it out there, and this sometimes earns us a false impression of being 'slow'. Dr. Helgoe is a Psychologist and fellow introvert, who has written a great book that will help dispel some of these misunderstandings, and encourage introverts to be comfortable with their introversion.

In Psychology, Introversion and Extroversion are defined as preferences, not conditions or traits. Dr. Helgo describes the Introvert preference this way: "Introverts generally prefer a rich inner life to an expansive social life; we would rather talk intimately with a close friend than share stories with a group; and we prefer to develop our ideas internally rather than interactively." (p. 4) Introverts also prefer sharing ideas, over small talk. And we recharge our batteries through quiet solitary activities such as book reading, walks, meditation, movies, or intimate conversation with plenty of time to pause and reflect. While big groups, and loud parties tend to exhaust us. An extrovert, by contrast, is energized by big parties, large groups of friends, and spirited fast paced conversations with topics running all over the map.

In a previous post I said that I would love to be an extrovert but after reading this book, I'm quite happy and content to stay the way that I am. I really do enjoy my introversion preference and will quit worrying that I'm missing out on something just because I don't enjoy a big get-together. Instead I'll focus on what I do enjoy -- family, smaller groups with just a few friends, books, and solitude.

Dr. Helgo's book is meant to educate both introverts and extroverts alike, and there is much more to the book than I've mentioned here. She wants everyone to know that being an introvert isn't a handicap; we aren't slow, we aren't snobs, we aren't unsocial or anti-social. We just process differently, and introverts have many strengths that we can bring to society. So be sure to give it a read if you want to get some ideas on how to carve out some needed quite space in your life, or if you want to understand the introvert in your life.

Hypocrisy and Acceptance in a Culture stripped of Grace

2010-01-07T10:28:00.000-06:00

Last night a good friend of mine, who is a Christian apologist, mentioned that one of the most common questions she is asked is the question of hypocrisy in the Church. Her typical answer to this question is to remind the questioner that the Church is made up of people, and people will fail. While this is certainly true, the fact that this answer is used and accepted points to something deeper in our culture; that is, we live in a culture stripped of Grace.
How many times have you heard of a coach that has gotten his team to the playoffs, but when the team loses the playoff game it seems that everyone is calling for his resignation. Or how about when a good pitcher has a bad day? For our culture, failure is not an option, and it seems that moral failure is equated with hypocrisy. This is of course a departure from the original meaning of hypocrisy.
Hypocrisy by definition means that we would pretend to believe something that we don't actually believe, or to hide our true self behind a false exterior. And I believe that since we live in a culture stripped of Grace, this has become the norm for many; and maybe that is why we don't label it hypocrisy any more. We all tend to hide traits, values, or preferences that a particular group may find unacceptable. When in a church setting we may try to hide an addiction, or anger, or doubt. And in a group of our peers at work or at school, we may hide something as simple as still liking Disney movies, we may hide our feelings, or we may even go against our conscience. We do this because there is a deep longing for acceptance that we can't deny and, in a culture stripped of Grace, the last thing you would want to do is to admit your flaws. Oh we have our moments when the facade falls apart and everyone gets to have a moment of honesty, but then we are expected to get it together and move on.
I think the thing that drives hypocrisy, or hiding is the graceless culture we live in. I must admit that it's one thing to recognize that we live in a graceless culture, and it's quite another thing to practice grace. It's a struggle for me, a coping mechanism I learned early on was to not give second chances to people who hurt me. It will probably take a lifetime to unlearn that, but it is definitely something I will strive to do.

A funny conversation with a 4 year old

2009-11-13T10:32:00.000-06:00

So I'm working from home today (Friday the 13th!) and my youngest comes up to me and wants to know if I can play, here is how the conversation went:

Zane: Dad, can you play this with me (Holds up the game 'Life')

Me: No I can't I'm working, I can later tonight.

Zane: Why not now?

Me: My boss might get upset with me if I played instead of worked.

Zane: Is your boss inside your stomach?

Me (laughing): No he is in New York.

Zane: Oh.... is New York inside your stomach?

Me (laughing):No it's far away from here..... wait, are you trying to say I have a big stomach?

Zane: No daddy, you have a small stomach...

Ah kids, you never know what they are going to say! He made my day with the small stomach comment :)

A Better Story

2009-11-02T13:40:00.000-06:00

"Then I said something that caught his attention. I said his daughter was living
a terrible story."

These lines, by Donald Miller in his book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years", set up a story about a conversation that changed a family's life. After talking about what makes a good story, the dad decided to quit yelling at his daughter about her poor choices and provide a better story for their family and invite her into that story. The new story was one that was out of the ordinary, one that had risk, sacrifice, and adventure. I won't spoil the story for you, but I will give you this warning. If you read it, it's quite dusty and could cause your eyes to get irritated and start watering...

Reading this has happened to coincide with a visit from some old friends of ours, Jim and Linda (and their 3 sweet daughters). They are a family who decided to live a better story. About 5 years ago they decided to leave the comfortable American life and became Missionaries in Sub Saharan Africa. They are part of a media team that puts together information to educate people about the needs in Africa, and they also minister to street kids in the slums near their home. It's not easy, it's not some romanticized version of a missionary life. They have just as many negative turns in their story, as there are positive ones. But still it's a better story. Even after days where it seems like no one is listening or seeing more need than one family can hope to fill in a lifetime, they can still look at where they have made a difference and know that theirs is truly a good story. It's been a good visit to talk with them, and I can tell that they are eager to get back to Africa - back to the story God has invited them into.

As for me, I have a feeling that my own story will change soon. There has been an inciting incident already, now we just have wait and see how the main character and the Author of all our stories work things out from here....

The Scripture of Nature

2009-10-06T12:03:00.000-05:00

One learns that the world, though made is yet being made.
That this is still the morning of creation.
That mountains, long conceived, are now being born
brought to light by the glaciers
channels traced for rivers
basins hollowed for lakes.
When we try to pick out anything by itself
we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
The whole wilderness in unity and interrelation is alive and familiar.
The very stones seem talkative, sympathetic, brotherly.

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where Nature may heal and cheer and give strength to body and soul alike. This natural beauty-hunger is made manifest in our magnificent National parks — Nature’s sublime wonderlands - the admiration and joy of the world.

- From the writings of John Muir

If you watched the PBS special The National Parks - America's Best Idea, then you know that the title of my post is taken from the first in the series, and that the quotes I've used from John Muir are read during the introduction. The series has got me thinking about how different my life would be if there were no National Parks, State Parks, or other Camping grounds to go to. Admittedly I don't go nearly often enough, but such places have left indelible impressions on my memory.

The year before I entered high school, I went to Philmont Scout Ranch in New Mexico; 200 plus square miles of wilderness somewhere between Cimarron and Angle Fire, near the southern end of the Rockies. It is a trip that I will never forget, it changed me physically, mentally, and spiritually. There were unforgettable places, like Bear Canyon, Urraca Mesa, Tooth Ridge, and Baldy. And somewhere along the hiking trails, God showed up, unannounced and uninvited. It was a time in my life when I wasn't talking to him or looking for him, but he showed up anyway. It was here that I truly understood the Apostle Paul's words for the first time, "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." (Ro 1:20) It is something that I would remember again as I visited other places like the Grand Canyon, the Rockies, or the painted desert. It was at Philmont that I would, for the first time write down my experiences in a Poem; reflecting on the soul-refreshing experience, and a lightning show God gave to us as we ate lunch one day. Though it would be several more years before I would respond to his voice, I first heard it in that wild place; away from the din of city noise and the hurried pace of modern life. And ever afterward, my heart would long for the mountains and wild places where his voice was more easily perceived.

So I wonder what my life would be like without these places. Would I have ever heard His voice?

The Reality of God's Love, and our Illusions

2009-03-26T09:28:00.000-05:00

I have, on more than one occasion been asked, "How do you know God loves you -- personally, tangibly -- not as a theological truth". My heart breaks for people who ask that question. I've been there and know the pain of thinking you are unlovable, and to be honest there are days when I find myself back in that place. For someone like me, who spent 20+ years of my life thinking I was 'damaged goods' and 'unlovable if you really knew me', it is an exceedingly hard place to get free from. But thankfully, gradually, the days of living as if I'm not loved are becoming fewer and farther apart.

Part of my problem, and the problem that I think many like me face, is that we accept our culture's definition of love, and our culture's standards for 'being lovable'. So we put on a mask of performance to meet those standards. The world may love the mask, but our true selves behind the mask receives none of that love. We may even think God loves the mask, but in our more honest moments we know that he sees right through it and we think that, by the worlds definition of love, God can't possibly love us.

But the open secret of scripture is that God's love for us precedes any action on our part. "For God so Loved the world that he sent his only begotten son..." (Jn 3:16) and "We loved because he first Loved us." (1 Jn 4:19) are truths we all too often forget. And God's Love isn't the needy and conditional 'I love you because of what you can do for me' kind of love that the world offers; His love is selfless and without end. He says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love." I know this is still in the general head knowledge or 'read in a book' kind of information, but it is one of the things we need to know if we are going to dare to believe it and dare to put down the mask of performance.

Putting the mask down is probably the hardest thing a person will ever do. For certainly there are some people who live by the worlds definition of love and will walk away; preferring illusion to reality. We will all be tempted to pick the mask back up when around certain people, especially those who are significant to us in our relationships. But if we are to begin to experience the reality of God's love for us, we need to face the reality of ourselves. Only then then will we realize that God has always loved us, our true selves hidden under our masks and the walls of protection we've built for ourselves. And we can be confident of his love, because we have given up the illusions and see that God's love depends on God, not on us.

I read a quote from Thomas Merton's "No Man is an Island" on one of the blogs I follow, and thought it would be worth sharing here as well.

13. Our ability to be sincere with ourselves, with God, and with other men is really proportionate to our capacity for sincere love. And the sincerity of our love depends in large measure upon our capacity to believe ourselves loved. Most of the moral and mental and even religious complexities of our time go back to our desperate fear that we are not and can never be really loved by anyone.

When we consider that most men want to be loved as if they were gods, it is hardly surprising that they should despair of receiving the love they think they deserve. Even the biggest of fools must be dimly aware that he is not worthy of adoration, and no matter what he may believe about his right to be adored, he will not be long in finding out that he can never fool anyone enough to make her adore him. And yet our idea of ourselves is so fantastically unreal that we rebel against this lack of “love” as though we were the victims of an injustice. Our whole life is then constructed on a basis of duplicity. We assume that others are receiving the kind of appreciation we want for ourselves, and we proceed on the assumption that since we are not lovable as we are, we must become lovable under false pretenses, as if we were something better than we are. The real reason why so few men believe in God is that they have ceased to believe that even a God can love them. But their despair is, perhaps, more respectable than the insincerity of those who think they can trick God into loving them for something they are not. This kind of duplicity is, after all, fairly common among so-called “believers,” who consciously cling to the hope that God Himself, placated by prayer, will support their egotism and their insincerity, and help them to achieve their own selfish ends.

14. If we are to love sincerely, and with simplicity, we must first of all overcome the fear of not being loved. And this cannot be done by forcing ourselves to believe in some illusion, saying that we are loved when we are not. We must somehow strip ourselves of our greatest illusions about ourselves, frankly recognize in how many ways we are unlovable, descend into the depths of our being until we come to the basic reality that is in us, and learn to see that we are lovable after all, in spite of everything! This is a difficult job. It can only really be done by a lifetime of genuine humility. We must accept the fact that we are not what we would like to be. We must cast off our false, exterior self like the cheap and showy garment that it is. We must find our real self, in all its elemental poverty but also in its very great and very simple dignity: created to be a child of God, and capable of loving with something of God’s own sincerity and His unselfishness.

The first step in this sincerity is the recognition that although we are worth little or nothing in ourselves, we are potentially worth very much, because we can hope to be loved by God. He does not love us because we are good, but we become good when and because He loves us. If we receive this love in all simplicity, the sincerity of our love for others will more or less take care of itself. Strong in the confidence that we are loved by Him, we will not worry too much about the uncertainty of being loved by other men. I do not mean that we will be indifferent to their love for us: since we wish them to love in us the God Who loves them in us. But we will never have to be anxious about their love, which in any case we do not expect to see too dearly in this life.

15. The whole question of sincerity, then, is basically a question of love and fear. The man who is selfish, narrow, who loves little and fears much that he will not be loved, can never be deeply sincere, even though he may sometimes have a character that seems to be frank on the surface. In his depths he will always be involved in duplicity. He will deceive himself in his best and most serious intentions. Nothing he says or feels about love, whether human or divine, can safely be believed, until his love be purged at least of its basest and most unreasonable fears.

But the man who is not afraid to admit everything that he sees to be wrong with himself, and yet recognizes that he may be the object of God’s love precisely because of his shortcomings, can begin to be sincere. His sincerity is based on confidence, not in his illusions about himself, but in the endless, unfailing mercy of God.

I've moved - no really

2009-03-17T21:57:00.000-05:00

About a month ago (or two), I was on the verge of posting some thoughts on Living Loved, and recognizing God's love in your own life. But then we found out we were going to have to move. So we spend a lot of our free time looking for another place, then we spent our time packing, then moving, and then unpacking/painting/yardwork, etc, etc. I think this is the first night in several months that I've actually spent more than 10 minutes on the computer. Maybe I'll finally be able to get to that post. In the meantime here are some pictures of the new digs. The circle of pines is just to the right of our house. Oh, and if you have any thoughts on recognizing God's love, feel free to share...

Something has changed -- and that's good

2009-01-15T20:46:00.000-06:00

I went to work today and had quite an interesting day. The company I work for has begun the process of laying off some staff to cut costs in a more difficult economy. The rather interesting part was that one of the HR people accidentally sent an email to the entire office that said something about meeting where you could sort out your financial options after your termination. Needless to say, that caused quite a bit of angst and fear in many people.

But the funny thing for me is that I didn't become concerned or freaked out by any of this. In years past, when an employer would announce layoffs, I used to be somewhat of a basket case; even if I hated the job. And if I actually got news that I would be laid off, I would sink into a deep dark hole. But nothing of the sort happened this time around. No, I haven't actually lost my job, but for a short time I did think that they were closing our entire local office and it didn't really upset me.

So I guess I'm just sharing all that to say that Father has made some changes in my heart that I wasn't even aware of until today. Now I get to say, that's not anything I did, that is Fathers work in my heart! Thank you Papa!

Spritual Growth and Maturity - My Thoughts

2008-12-23T15:30:00.000-06:00

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
-- 1 Cor 13:11

When we are children, we are given quite a few rules to follow. Things like, 'don't pull your sisters hair', or 'you can't have candy for dinner', or 'look both ways before crossing the street' and a whole list of other do's and dont's. In most cases these rules aren't made up just to make the lives of children more difficult, they are given to protect the child, or to prevent the child from harming another person. As a child I really didn't understand the health consequences of eating only candy all the time, and as I child I really didn't have the capacity to care for or have empathy for another person yet. So rules were put into place until I matured. Now at 40 years old, if I go the my moms house and my sister happens to be there, we may both sit down to watch a TV show and we would ask each other what we want to watch and one of us would defer to the other if we didn't have the same show in mind. But if my mother still has to break up a fight over the remote and tell me 'don't pull your sister's hair', you might suspect that I have a developmental problem; that I never matured.

I suspect that Spiritual Maturity is very similar in nature. If you'll note, Paul's comment from 1 Cor 13:11 about putting childish things away, is right in the middle of a very well known chapter about God's kind of love and relationship.

There is another thing that I think Paul understood quite well, and that we need to remember; Spiritual Growth is a process, and it is a process that is guided by the Spirit. Both Jesus and Paul use a 'fruit' metaphor to describe the developing of love and patience and kindness in a believers life, and I think there is good reason for this. I think they both wanted people to understand that just like fruit, these things take time to grow in us, and that they aren't a work. Since Paul understood this process, it isn't surprising that he often did give commands to address specific problems in the Churches he wrote to. But those commands weren't intended to be an end in themselves, rather they were put in place until the believers learned to walk by the Spirit and the Spirit had produced fruit. Then the command would no longer be needed.

Spiritual Growth and Maturity - Questions

2008-12-04T21:22:00.000-06:00

First, if you haven't read it already, Kingdom Grace has an excellent post here that discusses discipleship and spiritual growth. Her post may be an oblique rebuttal to the growing controversy over whether missional churches are any more effective than attractional megachurches. Whether it was intended to be that or not, it is still an excellent post. Here is a quote that might pique your interest.

Then in a rush to transform our new converts into shiny, happy christians we train them into every aspect of cultural christianity rather than trusting the process of transformation by the Spirit that begins within before it becomes evident to others. The goal is to get them looking and acting like good christians as soon as possible.

For sometime now, I have been thinking about what it means to be spiritually mature, and wondering if we use the terms 'milk' and 'meat' (technically solid food) in a way that Paul intended when he wrote 1 Corinthians 3:2, or when the author of Hebrews 5:12 used the same metaphor. I would say that I believe it is almost certainly misused when someone pridefully exclaims that their pastor preaches only meat -- as if milk is never an appropriate food. By the way, whenever I've heard someone thank their pastor for 'giving us meat today', it was usually after a sermon that served a heavy dose of legalism. Which, ironically, may be the polar opposite of what 'meat' is.

In the next post, I'll share my thoughts about what it means to be mature, and what I'm leaning toward in my understanding of the terms 'milk' and 'solid food'. Like I said, I've been pondering them so I haven't fully settled the issue in my mind. But for now I want to hear what others might think. I will tell you that I've been looking at 1 Corinthians - chapters 2 and 3, Hebrews 5 (Obviously), and Romans 14.

What does it mean to be 'Spiritually Mature'?

What do the terms 'milk' and 'solid food' refer to in 1 Cor 3:2 and Heb 5:12?

Is it ever appropriate to give someone milk? Conversely, is it appropriate to give meat to a mass audience?

Obedience - can we find a better word?

2008-11-25T13:19:00.001-06:00

Who knows, I may be the only person of the face of the planet that is bothered by the use of the term 'obedience' when used in context of our relationship with God. If you google the term obedience the vast majority of the entries on the first 2 result pages deal with dog obedience training, or the Milgram experiment. So culturally speaking we are already behind the 8 ball when we decide to use this term.

For me this definitely isn't about wanting to do my own thing without having to listen. In fact, my hearts deep desire is to have the heart and mind of Christ. I don't merely want to externally conform to a list of moral requirements or laws, I want an inner reality that produces actions that are in line with Father's own heart. I'm not content with obedience, I want something much deeper. And I think Father is more interested in our heart as well. To me obedience is the language of the lists, laws, and the Pharisee. In an actual relationship with Christ, however, I learn to trust him, and I'm transformed by him as I begin to place my life in his hands. It's only through Love, trust, and relationship with Father, Son, and Spirit that I will be changed on the inside. Conformity and obedience can't transform, so maybe we should leave that term for the dogs.

Anger?

2008-10-29T09:04:00.000-05:00

Here lately I've noticed that my best thoughts occur at 5:30 in the morning.... or maybe they just seem like my best thoughts because it's 5:30 and I'm not fully awake :-). Anyway, my morning thoughts this week have been drifting back to a conversation I had a couple of weeks ago. Actually it was a conversation I listened to and wanted to say something but unfortunately I take far too long to think through a response. I'm like Calvin in the comic strip 'Calvin and Hobbes' who said, "Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN!" Not that I need to come up with a witty and blistering retort, it just usually takes me some time to think through a response, even if I already have an opinion on the matter.

We talked about Jesus being the full revelation of the character of God in human flesh. The subject of Jesus being 'angry' when he cleared the temple came up during the conversation, and rightly a friend of mine pointed out that maybe it wasn't anger, or at least anger in the sense that we usually picture it. The reason he thinks it probably looked different that we think is because in Matthew 21:12-15, immediately after the incident we see people coming to him for healing and children were shouting in the temple "Hosanna to the Son of David". In particular it is interesting that children were there cheering him on. When grown men rage, don't children usually scatter? Now I'm sure that Jesus didn't do this with a smile on his face, but how ever he did it, it didn't strike fear in the hearts of the children. He was probably stern, and determined but controlled in his response.
(see Jn 2:13-16, Mk 11:15-17, Mat 21:12-15, Lk 19:45-46)

What I wished that I could have added to the conversation was the fact that there was only once in all of the Gospels where they felt the need to record that Jesus was angry.

He entered again into a synagogue; and a man was there whose hand was withered. They were watching Him to see if He would heal him on the Sabbath, so that they might accuse Him. He said to the man with the withered hand, "Get up and come forward!" And He said to them, "Is it lawful to do good or to do harm on the Sabbath, to save a life or to kill?" But they kept silent. After looking around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, He said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored.
Mark 3:4-5

It is worth noting that Jesus was angry and grieved, and that his response was to heal someone rather than call down fire from heaven. So we can say that God does get angry, but it never looks like human anger.

Another point I which I would have made is the fact that often we try to elevate anger or wrath to be an attribute of God, when that clearly isn't what scripture teaches. Scripture says that God is Love, but it never says that God is wrath or God is anger. I think it is important to understand this because God's anger or wrath is an expression of the God whose very nature is Love, and not just any love but Agape -- the other centered, self-giving Love. Wayne Jacobsen defines God's wrath in this way -- the full weight of God's being brought against that which destroys the object of his affection. I think he is right; Scripture is clear that God's wrath is revealed against all ungodliness and unrighteousness; the things that decay and destroy his good creation. It is in a sense the fire that will make the world right again. It is motivated by Love, and once things are put right once again. It is an expression that will cease.

doing vs being - where do we find our identity?

2008-10-07T18:44:00.000-05:00

When you talk to youth (and some adults) about their future career, how do you usually phrase it? Do you ask "What do you want to do when you grow up?" or do you ask "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I think there is an important distinction to be made here. We live in a culture where our vocation is usually one of the primary ways to identify, or define a person; he's a doctor, she's a photographer, he's a home-maker, she's a CEO, etc. But what happens when the person leaves or loses their vocation? Do they lose their identity? Are they a different person? Are they now a 'nobody'? What about those who have not yet entered a vocation? Has their life not 'started' yet? I ask these questions because I myself had to come face to face with my own misconceptions about identity just a few years ago. Up until my current vocation with a rather large company, I had always made a name for myself and had a reputation of being the 'go to' guy. It was my 'identity', or at least a big part of it. Then I joined this large corporation and found myself without an 'identity'; I was part of the herd, I was (and still am) doing a very minor job that most people didn't even know existed, and doesn't begin to use the knowledge and skills that I have. For the first 6 months, I was like a drug user going through withdrawals; and I can definitely see why some who lose their job can sink into deep depression. But through it all God was helping me to see that my true identity was something else altogether, something unshakable, something that had to do with being rather than doing.

There is another thing that I've noticed about myself in the area of doing. For a large part of my life, I've allowed my failures to define me. Saying 'I'm a sinner' is easy for me to say and believe. I've never been a good enough son, or a good enough friend, or a good enough husband, or father. And I've wondered if people would be better off without me. To be defined by our failures isn't what God intended, yet I think that this is a powerful lie, that so many people (myself included) struggle with. As hard at it was for me to let go of the false identity of vocation, this one is even harder. Every time I fail, the whisper 'I am not....' is there to tell me how utterly worthless I am.

Yet there is another voice. The voice of the great 'I AM', that has been whispering something different to me. He tells me that I am his son, whom he loves. He tells me that from the foundation of the world he looked forward to my adoption as a son. He tells me that no matter where I wander in life - even in the darkest places, I will always be a son. For those who are sons and daughters of our great Abba, this is an unshakable truth, all that we now know will pass away, but this will never change.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge
- Paul's prayer for us in Ephesians 3:17-19

Some songs inspired by CS Lewis

2008-10-01T22:18:00.000-05:00

A very sweet, kind, and beautiful young friend of mine, whom God is especially fond of, introduced me to some new music by an artist named Brooke Fraser. Thanks Meganne!

I ended up downloading the whole album off of itunes because Brooke's music is definitely worth listening to from an artistic standpoint. If you get a chance, take a listen sometime. One of her songs has made the Christian charts, so it does sound a bit like everything else you hear (but that's not always a bad thing), but I think that's the only one like that on the album. This chart maker was inspired by my personal favorite book of C.S. Lewis' works, 'The Great Divorce'. I think a different title would have done it better. It's a work of fiction, but there are some great though provoking ideas within it. In the book, the main character visits heaven, where he finds that heaven is more real than he is. He is merely a shadow in comparison, and his feet can't even bend the blades of grass in heaven. He finds that as people travel toward the King, they become more solid, more real. I won't give away too much else, but that is enough to show that Brooke was definitely thinking of this Book when she wrote this song; by the way I also love the diversity of faces used in the video:

Shadow Feet

Walking, stumbling
On these shadow feet
Toward home, a land that I’ve never seen
I am changing
Less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when I began

Of course with the second song, she leave no room for doubt about her inspiration because it's called 'CS Lewis Song'.

CS Lewis Song
If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary
Then of course I’ll feel nude when to where I’m destined I’m compared

CHORUS
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan
As I wait for hope to come for me

Am I lost or just less found,
On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
Is this a soul that stirs in me,
Is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?

‘Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth
Of who I was born to become

CHORUS

Bridge
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath
So we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live
I was made to love
I was made to know you

Hope is coming for me

CHORUS

And although this one isn't CS Lewis inspired, but one I know Meganne like so this ones for Meganne:

Faithful

Ok, now I know I'm getting ridiculous, but if your still with me. Here's one more called 'Albertine'. I like this one purely for the musical quality, it has a folksy, sultry kind of feel to me.

Albertine

Prophets of Love

2008-09-29T21:53:00.000-05:00

By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North

The mind of a Pharisee thinks truth is more important than love, but Jesus showed us that love is the most important part of truth.
-- From 'He Loves Me!', by Wayne Jacobsen

While there have been various movements around lately such as the emerging church, the new reformed movement, or various proclaimed revival 'outpourings'. There has been another set of voices that have been calling believers back to believe in the Goodness, Grace, and Love of God. None of these voices have gotten organized, other than simply following the prompting of the Holy Spirit. And, as far as I can tell, none wish to build or proclaim the next 'great thing'. They are simply Prophets of Love, proclaiming God's Love to all people, and reminding us that we can't save ourselves, we can't fix ourselves, we don't need to work to earn anything from our Father (like the song above), and that the only hope we have is in the transforming power of His Love.

All to often in our world, we find that performance is a condition of our acceptance and worth as a person. We learn this in school, many learn this in our homes, our churches, and in our jobs. This is the way of the world, and we recast God in our image when we assume that God is the same way. I'm guilty of this more times than I'd like to admit. But in God we find someone who knows us at our worst, and loves us all the more. He doesn't stand back and wait for us to fix ourselves, rather he offers to come into our brokenness and begin the healing process - if we ask. He is the one who is faithful to complete the work he begun. When we look for something we can do to get right with him, we get nowhere. But when we trust what he has done to make us right, that makes all the difference. I have found that the most profound changes in my heart come at my darkest hours; Those times when I finally give up on my abilities to accomplish anything through self-effort. “We worship in the Spirit, glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh.” (Phil 3:3) Papa, may I learn from those and trust you at the first, rather than at last.

Are you Tired? Worn out? Burned out on Religion? Come to me, get away with me and you'll recover your life.
-- Matt 11:28, The Message

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
-- Zephaniah 3:17, NIV

Here are just a few voices of Love that God has brought into my life at just the right times:

He Loves Me! - Wayne Jacobsen.
True Faced - John Lynch
The parable of the dancing God - Baxter Kruger
The Shack - Paul Young
The Wisdom of Tenderness - Brennan Manning

A couple of songs that have been on my mind.

2008-09-26T16:34:00.000-05:00

Here are the songs.

Both of the songs happen to be from Third Day's latest album called 'Revelation'. I've been listening to them way too much, because I can really relate to both of them; although I probably relate to them in a way that is different from what the writer intended. To me the hold slightly different meanings than how they are traditionally taught. The first is called 'Slow Down'.

Oh, I don't want to let go
Of all the things that I know
Are keeping me away from my life.
Oh, I don't want to slow down.
No, I don't want to look around,
But I can't seem to work it out,
So help me God.

For me, I can see that there are some things in my life that I still hold on to. Mostly because I don't quite know what else to do yet. I'm still part of a corporate machine that keeps me from doing things that really matter, and I really want that to change. I'm still somewhat a part of the American lifestyle that keeps so many very busy, very disconnected, and causes so much stress and depression. How do I step off that tread mill and not end up on the street with kids to feed? I don't know, so help me God!

The second song is called 'Born Again', and although I'm sure they wrote it to describe the traditional meaning of 'Born Again', I'm not thinking about my salvation experience.

It feels like I'm born again
It feels like I'm living
For the very first time
For the very first time
It feels like I'm breathing
It feels like I'm moving
For the very first time
For the very first time

I'm thinking of the last 3 years of my life. I was falling apart inside 3 years ago, and trying to look nice and together on the outside. But in my most disparate hour, God showed me that I had him all wrong. I thought he was keeping a list; I thought he was constantly disappointed in me; I thought I had to get my act together before he would love me or bless me. I was a believer already after all, and wasn't it about time I started doing all that you are supposed to do? But I was wrong, God didn't want me to change by my own self effort disguised as 'Spirit Empowered'. He wanted me to be still and know that he loves me, and that abiding is his Love is my only hope for change. I began to come back to life once I figured out that he wasn't looking for performance and that he already loved me more deeply than I could possibly imagine. I've come a long way in 3 years, but I know there is a long way yet to go in my process of 'unlearning'.

A 'Punishing God'? - Thoughts on the Cross and Forgiveness

2008-09-05T14:25:00.000-05:00

Was the Cross punishment? In one sense; yes it was. It was a particularly cruel punishment established by Rome. The historian Josephus called it "the most wretched of deaths." So yes, humanly speaking it was a punishment, and I do not want at all to make light of the intense suffering that Jesus endured on the Cross. What I do want to look at though is whether or not there is a scriptural basis to say that 'God punished Jesus for our sin.' As I stated in the previous post, this understating of the cross makes no sense to me. It's not forgiveness, and it may appease or change God but it doesn't change me. And it may be quite Loving for Jesus to 'take my punishment', but it leaves us with a cruel and unforgiving Father. While scripture clearly indicates that the cross was intended to be a demonstration of love, by both Jesus and Father (Rom 5:8). Athanasius in his writing On the Incarnation, postulates that God could have done the work of reconciliation in secret somewhere in heaven, but that we would not have believed such a message. Rather the very public, and very obvious death of Jesus and the eyewitness accounts of his resurrection was meant to leave us without any doubt that indeed something happened; something that even after 2000 years we can look to.

Why doesn't God just forgive us?
I'm sure you've heard that question hundreds of times before and the answer usually given has to do with God's justice. The argument is that God justice must be 'satisfied'. While looking at Hebrews 9:22 I took a look at the Greek word that is translated into 'forgiveness' and found something astounding. I found that God doesn't 'just forgive', because that doesn't help us. It was never his intention to 'just forgive' because he wanted to solve our problem, not just forgive it and leave us eternally in our bondage to sin. The word in the Greek that is translated forgive is Aphiemi and it has a much broader meaning that the word forgive conveys in English. In Greek it carries with it the idea of actually removing sin from a person, so that when Jesus tells people their sins are forgiven in scripture he is saying their sins have been taken away.

What God accomplished by the Cross:
In the most basic terms, the Christ's death and resurrection is said to take away our sins (John 1:29, Heb 9:28, 1 John 3:5), and reconcile (2 Cor 5:18-19 , Eph 2:16, Col 1:20, 1 Peter 3:18) us to God. Both sin and the law (Eph 2:14-16, Col 2:14, Rom 7:1-6) are abolished in Christ. I'm sure you've heard these said before, but don't be so quick to pass them by. Think about what scripture is teaching here and what it is not teaching. It is saying that our problem is resolved, our spiritual disease is cured, we are set free and the law that condemns us is abolished. Scripture points to God's work on the cross as being something greater, something multifaceted that we can bring our questions to and find an answer; Love for the unloved, worth for those who feel worthless, a clean conscience for those who feel the weight of their guilt, freedom for those enslaved by their addictions. Consider the additional passages:

And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross. (Col 2:15)

For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant. (Heb 9:15)

For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. (1 Peter 3:18)

For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures (1 Cor 15:3)

Justifies - makes us right with God. (Rom 5)

Cleanse our conscience (Heb 9:14)

The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work. ( 1 John 3:8 )

In all of scripture there is only one verse that comes close to calling the cross 'God's punishment'. And that is Isaiah 53:5, yet even this verse uses a Hebrew word that is distinct from the word used for punishment. This word, muwcar, means chastening, correction, or instruction. This of course differs greatly from punishing someone for a criminal act. So you still have to bring your own presuppositions about 'punishment' to the text in order to read it that way (which, unfortunately, the NIV translators did).

How does the Cross (and resurrection) work?
While we are told what Christ did on the cross for us to resolved our problem, we aren't really given much information on the technical details of how this is accomplished. Maybe this is intended to be part of our faith, or trust in God. To trust that he is telling us the truth and not worry about the technical details. Maybe asking this question is what got us the doctrine of 'Penal Atonement' in the first place. Yet I believe there are hints in scripture that give us some small clue:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being by Him; and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being (Jn 1:1-3)
He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. (Col 1:17, see also 1 Cor. 8:6)
And He (Christ) is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power (Heb 1:3)
For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. (2 Cor 5:14)
He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him (2 Cor 5:21)

If the one who is sustaining all of creation dies, what happens to creation? If he bears our sin, what happens to sin when he dies? And if the one who is sustaining creation is raised from the dead what happens to creation? If he ascends to the Father, is there then any consequence for creation?

Now, what are we to make of the fact that this One became a human being? What are we to make of the fact that the eternal and beloved Son of the Father–in and through and by whom all things were created–entered into his creation and became a man? Are we to treat this Son incarnate, Jesus Christ, as a mere man, a single, solitary, individual human being, who lived and died like every other human being? Does his presence, the presence of this Son incarnate, not carry immediate and decisive implications for the whole universe? How can we not see that this Son is Lord, that his existence–his life and death and resurrection and ascension–has dramatic and stunning significance for the cosmos? How can we not see that the human race is necessarily and beautifully and wonderfully bound up in this Son incarnate, this Creator incarnate, and therefore how could we possibly be blind to the staggering and glorious fact that the human race has been gathered together in this one Man, the Son-Creator incarnate, and taken to the Father in his ascension? For good or ill, what becomes of this Son, this Son-Creator incarnate, becomes of us. If he dies, we die. If he rises again, we rise again. If he ascends to the Father and sits down at His right hand, we too are lifted up and embraced by the Father and accepted into the life of the Trinity.
-- Baxter Kruger, The light of the Cosmos

A 'Punishing God'?

2008-08-28T12:13:00.000-05:00

Why do we have such difficulty believing God could love those we perceive as good and those we perceive as bad with the same unfailing love? Because we relentlessly insist on trying to humanize God. We tend to love people according to how they act, and we keep trying to re-create God in our image.
-- Beth Moore

First I must confess that it may be too soon for me to post on such a subject because I myself am in the process (for about 2 1/2 years now) of rediscovering the character and nature of God. I had some misconceptions about God that He thankfully revealed to me to be false, and I have since repented (Repenting in the original sense of the word; μετάνοια or metanoia - to change ones mind). Second, I would like to warn you that continuing further might be akin to something like taking the 'red pill' and could bring to the surface some issues you may have never considered before, and it could be at times disorienting. Because of this, I will probably use quite a few quotes for no other reason than to show that my view on the subject is not 'new' or 'unique'. If you are satisfied with your beliefs about God and punishment; if there is no 'splinter in your mind', then you may want to go read something else. Here I am simply sharing with my friend what I've come to believe regarding the idea of a 'punishing God'.

I believe that, over the centuries, Christianity has picked up some baggage along the way that we need get rid of. To demonstrate this let me quote two Theologians. The first is Jonathan Edwards, an 18th century theologian who is considered to be one of America's the most influential theologians. His beliefs and legacy have greatly shaped beliefs and practices of churches in America.

The bow of God's wrath is bent, and His arrows made ready upon the string. Justice points the arrow at your heart and strings the bow. It is nothing but the mere pleasure of God (and that of an angry God without any promise or obligation at all) that keeps the arrow one moment from being made drunk with your blood.

Compare this to the 4th century theologian Athanasius of Alexandria, who was much closer to Christ and apostles than Edwards.

It would, of course, have been unthinkable that God should go back upon His word and that man, having transgressed, should not die; but it was equally monstrous that beings which once had shared the nature of the Word should perish and turn back again into non-existence through corruption. It was unworthy of the goodness of God that creatures made by Him should be brought to nothing through the deceit wrought upon man by the devil; and it was supremely unfitting that the work of God in mankind should disappear, either through their own negligence or through the deceit of evil spirits. As, then, the creatures whom He had created reasonable, like the Word, were in fact perishing, and such noble works were on the road to ruin, what then was God, being Good, to do? Was He to let corruption and death have their way with them? In that case, what was the use of having made them in the beginning? Surely it would have been better never to have been created at all than, having been created, to be neglected and perish; and, besides that, such indifference to the ruin of His own work before His very eyes would argue not goodness in God but limitation, and that far more than if He had never created men at all. It was impossible, therefore, that God should leave man to be carried off by corruption, because it would be unfitting and unworthy of Himself.

Do you notice the difference in tone, and the difference in how each perceives God's attitude towards creation? In Jonathan Edwards' words we see a god who is ready and willing to punish us for our sins, and in Athanasius' words we see the Trinitarian God of Scripture who rescues us from our sins. As Paul puts it in Romans 8:1-2 "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."(emphasis mine) I believe this as well as anything demonstrates that there was a marked shift in our understanding of God's nature, the meaning of the terms judge and justice, and our understanding of the Cross.

Think about this for a moment, if Jesus suffers God's 'punishment' for our sins, where does forgiveness fit in? As Baxter Kruger says:

There is no forgiveness in that model. God doesn't forgive you, Jesus suffers your punishment. That's not forgiveness is it? It's justice; there's not any forgiveness there. Now, I know that rocks your world; I hope it does.
-- Baxter Kruger, Perichoresis 101 (audio)

And if Jesus suffers God's 'punishment' for our sins, who does that change or who does that 'fix'? It would change God wouldn't it? God's 'need' for 'justice' (in the western legal since of the word) would be 'satisfied', but we would be unchanged.

Why did God need the cross to save us? How does it make anything better? These were the questions I asked myself.

For many with a hurtful understanding of Christianity this is vitally important. For them the cross is something terrible. It shows them a cruel God who accuses and condemns us for something we cannot help and then murders his own son to appease this bloodlust. They do not see love in the cross; they see something cruel, they see a God who frightens them. How can they open their hearts to the one who is Life, who is Love, with this hurtful and false image of God blocking them? Understanding how the cross shows us the radical love of God is crucial here because it affects how we can trust and open our lives to God's love.
-- Derek Flood, Penal Substitution vs. Christus Victor

Since Adam’s fall we have come to picture God not as a loving Father inviting us to trust him, but an exacting sovereign who must be appeased. When we start from that vantage point we miss God’s purpose on the cross. For his plan was not to satisfy some need in himself at his Son’s expense, but rather to satisfy a need in us at his own expense.
-- Wayne Jacobsen, He Loves Me!, p. 104

To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! --Revelation 1:5b-6(emphasis mine)

When we begin to peel off the religious lenses that we've inherited we begin to see that God's purpose is all about restoration and healing. When we start to understand this, we can begin to truly believe John 3:16 -- "For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." (emphasis mine)

Today when we think about a Judge and justice, our minds immediately think about the black-robed cold and detached man whose job is to hand out punishments to wrongdoers. But the Hebrews thought of something different, they thought about the old testament Judges. "When the LORD raised up judges for them, the LORD was with the judge and delivered them from the hand of their enemies all the days of the judge; for the LORD was moved to pity by their groaning because of those who oppressed and afflicted them."(Judges 2:18) Hebrew Judges were delivers, their active goal was to deliver Israel from suffering at the hands of it's enemies. So God as Judge, means that he is our deliverer, and when he brings justice he will finally once and for all restore right relations, or as N.T. Wright says, he will 'put the world to rights'.

I know I said that I would address my friends concern it two posts, but this one is turning quite lengthy. I still need to address the idea that god excludes people from the offer of salvation among other things. I'll get to that next.

For more a in depth treatment of the Cross as cure, you can listen to the free 'Transition' audios by Wayne Jacobsen.

Also check out the podcast: Can we make God too nice?

Romans 9 (to 11)

2008-08-26T14:46:00.000-05:00

I have a friend who currently considers himself to be a "non-theist". One of his complaints against Christianity in general and Calvinism in particular is the view that God makes us a certain way, then arbitrarily decides who he is going to punish and who he is going to let off the hook. He quoted Romans 9 as a sort of proof that this is the way the 'god of the bible' is -- an unjust, punishing god. I'm thinking that he has recently had a conversation with a Calvinist and they pulled out their 'Ace of Spades' (Romans 9) to support their beliefs. I can say this because I myself used to be a Calvinist and frequently used Romans 9 in this manner. Life, however, can sometimes break apart your 'Theology'; at least that is what happened to me. But that is a story for another time. I wanted to address his objection from two different angles and in two different posts. First I want to deal directly with the text of Romans 9, and then in the second post I want to address the concept of a 'punishing god'.

When I was a Calvinist and used Romans 9 as a proof-text to support my beliefs, but there was something that always didn't seem quite right. Romans 9 as I understood it at the time seemed out of place in the middle of a book that invited all people to make a real choice to trust God. As I said before, life experiences broke my theology and I walked away from Romans 9, and the rest of Scripture made more sense. To be honest I stayed away from this passage for about 2 years, and when I finally was able to read this passage without bringing my preconceptions to it, I was blown away by what I found.

Because of our western mind, and evangelical preconceptions we can sometimes read a text too myopically or even inverted. First is the fact that Paul in Romans 9-11 is talking about the nation of Israel, not about individuals.

For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, those of my own race, the people of Israel. Theirs is the adoption as sons; theirs the divine glory, the covenants, the receiving of the law, the temple worship and the promises.
Rom. 9:3-4

In the modern west, we tend to be very individually focused and always default to this way of thinking. But Paul is not talking about individuals, rather he is talking about the nation of Israel -- the political/religious system and it's rules and regulations that served as a buffer between God and his people. Ironically, in Romans 9 Paul is addressing the objection that God is being unfair by being more inclusive than under the old covenant, not less so. And Paul is basically saying that God's promise did not fail, in reality he was fulfilling his plan and that he has to right to bring and end to the old covenant and be more inclusive, him being God and all.

Quickly, I also want to point out that calling/election (vocation) is not necessarily synonymous with salvation. Israel was called to be a light to the nations, and according to Paul Israel was called to be a bearer, more on that in a moment.

What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory— even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles?
Rom. 9:22-24

Sounds pretty harsh doesn't it? But don't be too quick to make assumptions about who or what he is talking about. The traditional view basically translates 'objects of his wrath' as the world, and 'objects of his mercy' as the privileged few. But once you say it out loud that way it doesn't take long for you to realize that this interpretation contradicts the rest of scripture. In fact we must stick with Paul's subject at hand - Israel. Only then can we begin to make sense of what he is talking about. And when you do that, it turns everything I previously understood on it's head. In it's proper context, it becomes clear that the objects of God's wrath is Israel; the old covenant system and it's regulations, not the people. And the objects of God's mercy is the world. I also want to define God's wrath in this way -- his fierce determination to destroy sin because of the destruction is causes to his creation. I'll address this more in depth in my second post. So the thing that God bore with great patience was Israel, that old covenant religious system. During the time of the old covenant, God was patiently waiting for the day when he could finally be united with his people. And when it was finally brought to an end, God tore the veil in the Temple in half as if to say, "I'm outta here! No longer will there be a barrier between me any my beloved."

If you aren't convinced that the object of God's wrath was Israel, then read Paul's own words in Chapter 11.

Again I ask: Did they (Israel) stumble so as to fall beyond recovery? Not at all! Rather, because of their transgression, salvation has come to the Gentiles to make Israel envious. But if their transgression means riches for the world, and their loss means riches for the Gentiles, how much greater riches will their fullness bring!

For if their rejection is the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance be but life from the dead?

Rom 11:11-12,15

As I final thought. I want to point out that while 'destruction' is the final state of the old covenant system, Paul makes it perfectly clear that this isn't necessarily the eternal state of the people that were under that system. They too are invited to be included -- to make a real choice.

I haven't begun to do justice to this passage, but for further reading check out:
N.T. Wright - Romans and the Theology of Paul
Baxter Kruger - Why I left Calvinism

Freedom: An incremental Process

2008-08-25T12:26:00.000-05:00

"I don't understand," replied Mack. "I don't even understand what you just told me."
She turned back and smiled. "I know. I didn't tell you so that you would understand right now. I told you for later. At this point, you don't even comprehend that freedom is an incremental process." Gently reaching out, she took Mack's hands in hers, flour covered and all, and looking him straight in the eyes she continued, "Mackenzie, the Truth shall set you free and the Truth has a name; he's over in the woodshop right now covered in sawdust. Everything is about him. And freedom is a process that happens inside a relationship with him. Then all that stuff you feel churnin' around inside will start to work its way out."
-- The Shack, William P. Young

This weekend the Holy Spirit and I got the opportunity to travel a bit further along the road of freedom from my own expectations. Though I wish I could just be totally free with a wave of a wand, this isn't how these things work and this is where I'm at right now.

This weekend, I felt some disappointment as a result of an expectation I had with a friend. The details aren't important, especially since it was really an unspoken expectation that wasn't fair on my part. The reality was that my expectation led me to feel hurt by the lack of action of another. And that of an action they weren't aware I was expecting. How lame is that! But it did provide a moment for the Holy Spirit to help me see what was going on here. I was able to acknowledge my feelings and rather than let them turn to resentment, I began to ask Father why, in this instance, was I looking for affirmation in another person rather than from Him? That is when this quote from 'The Shack' came to mind, "freedom is a process that happens inside a relationship with [Jesus]." The Holy Spirit helped to remind me where I really draw my identity from. And that is from who God says I am. In that alone, will I be able to find true freedom from the tyrrany of my own expections and allow others the freedom to be who they are.

Truefaced (Do you believe?)

2008-08-21T15:56:00.000-05:00

Do you believe

That the Father loves you unconditionally, and is crazy about you?
That the Father has done everything to restore the relationship he desires to have with you?
That the Father will faithfully transform you into what he originally intended for you?
That the Fathers very essence is Love?

Or do you believe

That God really only loves you as long as you are performing well?
That it's up to you to get things right in your 'relationship' with God?
That you are on your own and need lots of discipline and accountability to keep 'God's commands'?
That God chooses to love, or in some cases chooses not to love?

Which do you believe, deep down? Really?

My friend Kent posted a link to an excellent message given by John Lynch called "TrueFaced". If you believe the the second list more that the first, this message is for you. If you are tired of faking it and long to be real, this message is for you. Believe in God's Grace and Love for you, it's real, and really true. Hop off the performance treadmill that's going nowhere, and know that all that needed to be done has already been done in Christ. Come and be real with your Heavenly Papa, his arms are open wide, and his Love is beyond description.

Random (or not?) thoughts for today.

2008-08-11T15:26:00.000-05:00

Here are a couple of things that I read off my blog roll today. The all point to a similar idea in my mind, though I'm not sure I can quite explain why. First is a great quote from William P Young, author of 'The Shack':

Expectations are one of the dominant ways that we attempt to control our lives, our relationships and God. Largely, they are disappointments waiting to happen. When one has a system of expectations, then ‘I’ become the center of the universe and everything and everyone is subject to my judgment and punishment depending on how they are ‘currently’ meeting up to those expectations (whether my expectations have been communicated or not).

Expectations are all about ‘doing’ … about performance. There is little room for ‘being’ within the web of expectations and ‘being’ has little to offer the one trying to control through expectations. "Who cares about who you are as long as you are doing what I think I need and expect." Expectations are largely a substitute for God, or in some sense, the need we have to play God ourselves.

And remember, ‘control’ is all about ‘fear’.

Letting go of ‘expectations’ is soooo risky; it feels like a free fall since our world was held together by that web, but it is in that ‘risk’ that you find a God who does not meet your expectations (thankfully), but loves you and is involved, and in that ‘risk’ is where ‘faith’ grows. Then we begin to live more in the environment of ‘expectancy’, the edgy, free flowing realm of wonder and surprise.

Then I read Baxter Kruger's blog entry about the 'Keys to Marriage', and Kent commenting on Baxter's post. These got me thinking about 'where I'm at' currently in my relationship with Father and with others. There a still a great many things that I'm learning to let go of, but I also see Father's progress in my life. I'm finding that I am much more free from the expectations of others than I used to be, and that is good. The opinion of others used to dominate my life, and I would run myself ragged to meet their expectations. This isn't the case any more, and I'm much happier for it.

Today I finally finished 'Families where Grace is in Place' by Jeff Vanvonderen and it was challenging in a good way. I still struggle with how to be a graceful parent of 4 and sometimes I fall back on my old methods when I get frazzled. This book certainly helped me to see what grace-full parenting can look like. I may want to read this one 3 or 4 more times, just to help get the concepts through my thick head :-). As I read the last 2 paragraphs of the book, the same themes of freedom, expectations and letting go of control appeared again:

I have offered the principles in this book, not as standards to measure up to, but as new ways for you to think about God, His grace, and how it can become real and life-changing for you and your family. If you are a believer, your value and identity is settled because of Jesus. It is not up to your family members to validate you with their performance. You are free to let go of controlling; you can learn what it means to server without becoming everyone's slave. You can learn more and more to act toward others out of a new spiritual fullness.
With God's grace, you can become a more effective, more grace-full husband, wife, parent. As these truths sink deep into your heart, yours will be more and more a family where grace is in place.

Random? or not?

church: a middle school drama queen?

2008-08-08T14:08:00.000-05:00

Many of the blogs I frequent are talking about the problem of the 'feminization' of Church and the supposed decline of the attendance of men. Brother Maynard makes some facetious comments about how to attract men that I found quite funny. Many of the comments about the feminization of the church tend to center around worship style. Many of the men complained about 'sappy jesus love songs', to this comment I want to call BS. Simply because there are choices out there. At some congregations you will find this to be the focus, but there are other congregations that focus on preaching, and provide a decent mix of worship song styles. Besides, what's really wrong with a guy being moved to tears by a good song? Am I being 'feminine' when I am moved, and then am I being 'masculine' when I want to deck the guy who is mistreating his children?

Barb, with her post "'Miss'-Taken Identity - Why Men Don't Want to Hang Around God" may be onto something. Her thought is that the picture of God being presented by the Church is actually that of a woman who periodically goes through 'that time of the month'. She then describes quite well, the typical friendships between men:

Now all you out there who have Husbands. Tell me this. If your husband has a close friend, describe him to me. I bet there is not a manipulative bone in your husbands’ friend's body. I bet your husband feels like he can be himself. I bet that this friend is not volatile in temperament. I bet that you husband can always count on his friend to just be “normal.” I bet your husband does not have to “do things” to please his friend. I bet that that person rarely ever makes your husband feel guilty about things he “should be doing.”

Maybe Barb is right. And when I think about how people will often be conformed into the image of what they worship- this makes sense to me. Time and time again, I have seen relationships within a church setting degenerate into some kind of middle school drama, and more specifically the kind you see between middle school girls. Unrealistic expectations on everyone else, cliques, constantly 'discussing' who is in and who is out, gossip, etc. -- all resulting in unnecessarily hurt feeling. And I'm talking about men that do this! And just because you use a gruff voice or pound the pulpit doesn't make it 'masculine'.

Come to Jesus and let him hold you in his arms....

2008-08-01T14:19:00.000-05:00

A song that's been out for several years, but still beautiful.

It seems like all of our wanderings in life always come back to this one thing. Do we know God, really? And do we trust him, really?

Chad Norris at Student Life

2008-07-20T22:17:00.000-05:00

I had the privilege to be a sponsor to a student life camp last week. It was a great experience for the students. And I learned that you don't get much sleep at events like this!

I was pleasantly surprised by the speaker, Chad Norris. He is a co-founder of a ministry called Wayfarer. I checked out thier website and found some refreshing values on thier about us page:

Christ before Christianity
… because following a person is different than fitting in to an institution

Rhythm before Regimen
… because greatness must be inspired before it can be managed

Wrestle before Settle
… because easy is not always best

Go before Know
… because sometimes the Promised Land is only visible as you begin to walk

We before Me
…because I may be good but we are better

Chad spent the greater part of the week just talking to the kids about God's incredible love for them. On the first day there seemed to be an interesting tension between the speaker and the worship leader. In an interesting role reversal, the worship leader wanted to focus on God's wrath while Chad was telling the students about God's incredible love. He also talked about the need for community and said that if you don't have seven people who can walk into your house, open your fridge and get something to eat without saying a word, then you don't have community yet. The students and a few adults recognized that our house is like that. I was glad to see that someone else believes in the value of community.

Chad mentioned that this was his absolute favorite worship song (something about the 'sloppy wet kiss' appealed to him :-) ):

God is for us

2008-06-30T22:21:00.000-05:00

Here is a beautiful song that you probably will never hear on the radio. It's called "You are on our side" by Bethany Dillon.

The only thing that counts...

2008-06-27T14:27:00.000-05:00

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
- Galaians 5:6 (NIV)

As many times as I had read Galatians in my life, you would have thought that I would have noticed that one before. This came as no big surpise to me, given the journey that Father has taken me on over the past couple of years, but I still thought it was a pretty cool way of stating what the 'work' of faith actually is.

--

This week my local congregation has been holding a Youth VBS in the evenings called 'Wild Week'. It wasn't as wild as this, but was still fun and interesting and God did stir the hearts of some of the teens that were there. One of the nights the guest speaker used James 3:17.

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. -- James 3:17 (NIV)

The thing that frustrated me was the fact that he focused on all the attributes (purity, peace-loving, considerate, etc.) and encouraged the students to 'act' in that manner. However in context James isn't asking us to 'act' this way. Instead, he's telling us what this kind of wisdom looks like, and 'if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.' (James 1:5) I really wished he would have mentioned that.

---

If you are familiar with the history of the cannon of Scripture then you know that James barely made it in, and during the Reformation it nearly got booted out -- Martin Luther called it an 'epistle of straw'. What gets James into trouble even today is his statement, 'You see that a man is justified by works and not by faith alone.' (James 2:24) I'm going to be honest here and say that this is a real problem in Scripture because it does directly disagree with entire rest of the New Testament. I don't know what happened here, poor choice of words by James or a bad copy by someone later, who knows. At any rate, reading back through James you do get the sense that he would agree with Paul that the 'work' of faith is love. So I present here an interesting substitution of the word 'love' for 'works' in James' controversial passage:

But someone may well say, "You have faith and I have love; show me your faith without love, and I will show you my faith by my love." You believe that God is one You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder. But are you willing to recognize, you foolish fellow, that faith without love is useless? Was not Abraham our father justified by love when he offered up Isaac his son on the altar? You see that faith was expressed in his love for God, and as a result of love, faith was perfected; and the Scripture was fulfilled which says, "AND ABRAHAM BELIEVED GOD, AND IT WAS RECKONED TO HIM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS," and he was called the friend of God. You see that a man is justified by love and not by faith alone. In the same way, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by love when she received the messengers and sent them out by another way? For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without love is dead. -- Adapted from James 2:18-26 (NIV)

Kicking the summer off with a vacation

2008-06-12T13:14:00.000-05:00

Last weekend we spent 4 days at a quite resort called T Bar M with some friends of ours. It was a very enjoyable time, we talked with our friends about how easy it is to get wrapped up in activity, and completely miss the relationship with God in our current institutional framework.

We also spent quite a bit of time just relaxing around the pool, or attempting to play tennis (none of us are very good at it). My 2 year old was hooked on tennis and would love it when we would toss the ball to him so that he could hit it with a racket that was half his size. He did get his first 'battle scar' as my oldest son called it when he was running for a ball and tripped over the tennis racket. Considering his size, the 2 year old did amazingly well. Just imagine yourself trying to swing a tennis racket that would come up to the middle of your torso.

On Sunday, we spent the day lazily floating down the Guadalupe River. It was relaxing, but also was a bit overwhelming to the senses. You have the hot Texas sun blazing overhead while your backside, hands, and feet are submerged in the unusually cold Guadalupe river. In addition to this we sometimes we experienced the thrill of shooting through some rapids, and other times the river flow was very slow and peaceful. Beautiful massive trees lined this stretch of the Guadalupe and would provide an occasional respite from the sun. We were all very proud of our oldest son, who turns 17 next month. There was a part of the river where the current was extremely slow and the wind would actually blow you up river. There he saw an older lady who had become separated from her family and was stuck by a fallen tree. He paddled over to her, and pull her out. We adopted this lady, and just show some kindness to her until we eventually caught up with her family at one of the stops along the river. They were all very embarrassed that they had lost her in the first place, but were also grateful that we had helped her out.

Unfortunately my wife got severely burned while on the trip, but we learned 2 very important lessons from that. First, be sure to get some sun before you spend 6 hours on a river trip. And Second, when using spray-on sunscreen, don't spray a small area an then try to rub it around (only the small areas didn't get burned) instead liberally coat yourself with the stuff and you will be much better off!

Oh, in case your were wondering -- no we did not take our 2 year old out on the river. He got to spend the day with some cousins that lived near by.

My wife's blog and website

2008-05-15T12:29:00.000-05:00

If you beautiful photos of children and families, be sure to check out my wife's blog and website!

We died with Christ - the reality

2008-04-30T15:17:00.000-05:00

Every once in a while, I'm given a critical piece to the puzzle that helps me to really understand certain aspects of my faith that I've puzzled over. One of those things was Paul's statement that 'we died with Christ'. I've never really been given a good explaination of what he meant when he said that; it was one of those theological truths that had no real impact on life -- that is until today.

Today I read Baxter Krugers blog on 'Why I Left Calvinism', and when I read the paragaph I've quoted below, I was blown away.

While the Son incarnate is certainly a real man, an individual person, he is much more. His humanity is, as J. B. Torrance insisted, “vicarious humanity.” What becomes of him is not small-print, back-page news, which may or may not be relevant to us. He is the one in whom all things came into being and are continually upheld, thus what becomes of him has immediate implications for the whole creation. This fact should lead us to see with Paul that when Christ died, we died. When he rose, we rose. When he ascended, we were lifted up in him to the Father’s arms (see Ephesians 2:4-6; 2Corinthians 5:14ff). But this is a subject for another day. For now, the point is that it was Jesus’ relationship with the entire cosmos and with the whole human race that called a halt to any notion of limited atonement that I had running though my brain. The life, death, resurrection and ascension of the incarnate Son/Creator was as wide and deep and large as creation itself. To deny this was simply to deny that Jesus was the incarnate Son of God and the Creator in and through and by and for whom all things were created and are sustained.

This may be old news to you, but for me there are so many things that fit together better in my mind with this little revelation. One Baxter mentions himself in his post, Divine Assurance -- We can know for sure that the Father loves us. There is no wondering if you are one of the loved or not. The is no need to ignore 1 John 2:2 (Christ died for the sins of the whole world), it gives a much deeper meaning to the ordinace of Baptism, and helps to solidify my personal view of the Cross as cure just to name a few. I may post more detailed thoughts about this in the future, but wanted to put something up now while I was thinking about it. Be sure to read Baxter's full post, it's worth it.

Hell and other things

2008-04-27T20:09:00.000-05:00

This week has been and interesting week; I had a confluence of messages from Father. The first message I blogged about in a previous post. Then I started reading "Abba's Child" by Brendan Manning. In the book he talks about how, in our relationship with Father, there are 2 critical things that need to be settled in our hearts; His character, and our identity. Brendan says that the biggest problem in the American church is self-rejection because it contradicts the voice that calls us 'Beloved'.

The 3rd message I heard this week can be found here:
Hell: Isn't the God of Christianity an angry judge?

I found this message on the website for a book called 'The reason for God' by Tim Keller. It might sound strange to say that this message fit in so well with the other messages, but you need to hear it to understand. Tim describes hell as placing your identity in something other than God, and to me that fit very well with Brendan's message that our identity is 'Beloved of God' as well as God showing me personally that I was not abandoned like I once thought.

I will say that I think explaining the Cross as cure, like Wayne Jacobsen does, actually would fit better in this message than Tim's brief description of the Cross does. At any rate, take a listen and feel free to comment!

The Father's (and Grandma's) Undivided Heart

2008-04-22T21:57:00.000-05:00

I'm not one to usually let people into my inner life -- not that I don't want to, it's just that historically I've found that people don't know what to do with the unfiltered me. As a result most people see me as a quiet or private person. Tonight, however, I've decided to let you get a peek into my inner life. Not a full exposure, mind you, just a peek.

One of my biggest struggles in life revolves around whether I'm likable or lovable. What does a broken person have to offer the world or God anyway? This has been a struggle of mine since childhood. During my childhood, I distinctly remember asking God to take me away from my family and put me in a family that was kind, supportive and loving; rather than one that was abusive and critical. I remember crying at night and through my tears praying this prayer for weeks. And finally one night, I asked God to do it or I wouldn't believe in him any more. He didn't do it, and I quit praying. I didn't really quit believing in God, but I certainly felt abandoned and unloved by him.

One of the bright spots in my childhood was my grandmother, Grandma was what I called her. She loved Jesus, and she loved me. I don't once remember her raising her voice to me, or ever even saying no to anything I asked (although I must say that the most outrageous thing I ever asked was to eat cereal for dinner). My mom tells me that she did spank me once when I was 2 for cleaning the fake snow off the windows she had just sprayed on. Apparently I thought she was cleaning the windows and was trying to help her. When she figured out that I thought I was helping, she was devastated. Whenever, I would come to visit she would include me in her hobbies; she taught me how to pour, fire and paint ceramics, she let me 'play' her piano, and she let me help in the kitchen. She was a Sunday school teacher, and she would often practice her lesson (flanelgraph and all) on me. Growing up, I never outgrew going to Grandma's because of the love that she showed me. She died when I was 17, and it was her display of love that brought me back to God. So in one sense, you might say that my coming to faith is unusual. I didn't come to faith by fear of hell, but by love. One peculiar thing that I was told later in life was that my Grandma treated me differently than other grandchildren. She wasn't mean to the others, but she didn't spend the kind of time with them or show them love like she did me. I couldn't figure that out, until tonight; more on that in a minute.

It is hard to try to condense my history to help you understand where I'm coming from, so hopefully sharing all this will make sense to you as an outsider. Anyway, fast-forward to 2006 where I'm in what may be my deepest moment of doubt that I'm loved by God since my childhood. By this time, I've been well trained in religious thinking, and with that thinking comes the idea that if you aren't sinning then life will be good. Life wasn't good, and I'm thinking that I'm a total screw up, my family deserves better, and God must hate me. It was during that time that I stumbled upon the jake book, and through that Lifestream. You might say that it was a message strait from God to me, once again replacing Fear with Love. In reading the books, and listening to the transition series a huge piece of my own great sadness fell off. And it brought me to a place where I could feel safe enough to ask God to show me how much he loves me.

Still there was that lingering question of abandonment during my childhood. And because of that question, along with some of the traditional teachings on God. It seemed that God had a divided heart toward humanity, and toward me. It's brought to the surface when I hear of a child that is abused, neglected, or killed. And it's brought to the surface every time someone talks about hell or God's 'wrath'. Such events send me into a mild depression, although nothing like I faced in the past. So tonight (after hearing a sermon on Sunday on God's wrath), I was walking in the neighborhood, and I asked God to show me how much he loves me, like I have many times over the past 2 years. After that and some random conversations with God, my mind wandered back to my Grandma and how she had loved me, and how that love brought me back to God. I was wondering why she treated me special, thinking that maybe she was there when my mom examined the impressions of my father's belt on my back. While I was thinking of this God spoke to me. He said, "I asked her to love you with my love." I don't often hear things so clearly, but I clearly heard that (and yes, I blubbered like a baby). God showed me how much he loved me; a love manifested in my Grandma. He showed me I wasn't abandoned after all, and that his heart was never divided. Tonight another large chunk of my own great sadness fell off.

Straining out gnats and swallowing camels

2008-04-15T21:56:00.000-05:00

'The Shack' by William P Young, is a favorite of mine that has come under fire by some well known people within the evangelical community in America. Yes, the shack makes some theological statements in the book. And No, I wouldn't agree with every theological statement in the book. But this is a story, not a theological treatise on the Trinity. It is a story that reflects God's care for his children even in the midst of our sin, pain, and suffering. It is a story of how God desires relationship with each of us, not followers of a set of rules and principles. And I think there is so much more right in this book than there is wrong.

So who are some of the people who have criticized 'The Shack'? Mark Driscoll and Al Mohler are a couple of names that I can give you at the moment. For the most part, I would say that they draw invalid conclusions about specific narrative in the book. This is a broad problem that I see in western society in general. We tend to break things down into tiny fragments and examine the fragments, all the while missing the bigger picture -- straining out gnats and swallowing camels as Jesus put it. One quick example is Mark's claim that the book teaches modalism, and he pulls a statement out of the book that vaguely appears to support his claim. Yet on page 100, the Author's belief in the Trinity couldn't me more clear:

"We are not three gods, and we are not talking about one god with three attitudes, like a man who is a husband, father, and worker. I am one God and I am three persons, and each of the three is fully and entirely the one.

I could provide a counter point to nearly every objection raised, but I don't think that would change the minds of those who have already made a judgment call on the book. Even though there are a couple of things that I might disagree with in 'The Shack', I would still highly recommend it; not as a book that I would hand anyone and say 'This sums up my doctrinal beliefs'. Rather as a story that has the ability to let you get a glimpse of the Love our Father has for us.

***

Writing about this has reminded me about some of Jesus' words that really haunted me several years ago.

You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life.
-- John 5:39-40

I was once a lot like Mark, and Dr. Mohler; sure that my 'doctrine' was correct, and confident that my correct doctrine insured that I was worshiping the right god. But the more I though about Jesus' words, the more uncomfortable I became with studying doctrine. Did doctrine transform my life? Did Jesus spend time making sure his disciples doctrine was in order? Did the pharisee's spend a great deal of time studying scripture, and did that make them right? For the time being, I've abandoned holding doctrinal positions; that may sound crazy, but I felt impressed by God to do so because doctrine was my graven image. It was the thing that had usurped God's place in my life. I know doctrine can be good, but there is a danger of boxing God in, creating a graven image, or making God subject to scripture with doctrine.

When do we graduate?

2008-04-14T16:04:00.000-05:00

This weekend I was talking with a friend about current church practices. We were discussing how everything in the modern church centers around church activity, and 'Bible Study'. I told him that it felt like it was like we were perpetual students, always studying, but never a chance to put our knowledge into practical use. Almost like students who never graduate and get a job. The closest we may get are the occasional field trips (Mission Trips).

Then today I ran across this post at run with it; I think she did a better job at stating the problems than I did:

I think the church-centered christian life (as opposed to a Christ centered christian life) that american protestantism has created in the last few generations is what is killing the church in america. and the new generations see it for what it is- empty activity that does little besides sustain itself for more empty activity. not that nothing good happens in local churches; far from it. but the abiding culture of complacency we've allowed to take over so overshadows the true mission of God's people that we risk losing it all.

we need corporate worship, we need corporate teaching, we need fellowship. But, we also need to get the heck out of the church building and live lives that show we care about somebody in addition to the people we worship with. we must address this corporate addiction to church that we ourselves have created. call it a church intervention, maybe. and if we succeed, the withdrawals will be ugly, angry, and very messy. If we don't succeed, thousands of local churches just like ours will be gone in 20 years or less. I'm not even sure if that isn't what should happen.

A Wrinkle in Time

2008-04-09T20:16:00.000-05:00

Every once in a while my daughter will hand me a book she has read and say something like, "Dad, you'll really like this one." The latest one that she handed to me was 'A Wrinkle in Time' by Madeleine L'Engle. This book was originally published in the early sixties as a story that was intended to contrast state mandated uniformity (Communism) and individual rights (Democracy), and to bring to light the tyranny of conformity. I, however, felt that the story could be applied in much broader terms (as if my choice of picture didn't give that away). In the story you see unity, diversity, love, and relationship in the Murray family that is contrasted against the uniform cold efficiency of a planet called Camazots where "individuals have been done away with. Camazotz is ONE mind. It's IT." IT is the mind that thinks for everyone on Camazotz. In the story one of the children, Charles Wallace, falls under the control of IT, and shows the others how they deal with trouble on Camazotz:

"Now see this," he said. He raised his hand and suddenly they could see through one of the walls into a small room. In the room a little boy was bouncing a ball. He was bouncing it in rhythm, and the walls of his little cell seemed to pulse with the rhythm of the ball. And each time the ball bounced he screamed as though he were in pain.
"That's the little boy we saw this afternoon," Calvin said sharply, "the little boy who wasn't bouncing the ball like the others."
Charles Wallace giggled again. "Yes. Every once in a while there's a little trouble with cooperation, but it's easily taken care of. After today he'll never desire to deviate again."

In the end, Meg was able to save her brother who fell under the control of IT by using the one thing that IT didn't have. This is a children s book, but it is an excellent one none the less. If you haven't read it before, I would highly recommend it.

If you liked the image, you can find more like it at the blog: The Ongoing Adventures of ASBO Jesus -- Image 388 was a close second for this post, oh and 317 too! check em out!

Adam

2008-04-08T21:28:00.000-05:00

My 9 of Spades is a book called Adam by Ted Tekker. This book is a particulary dark story of a FBI agent on the trail of a serial killer known as 'Eve' and while I enjoyed the book, I don't think I would go see it in a theater -- I'm not into scary movies.

A few of the interesting subjects in the books that Dekker addresses are Near Death Experiences, the nature of evil, and demon possession (This book is refrenced in Adam).

Eyes to See

2008-04-08T13:36:00.000-05:00

Eyes To See which is a collection of short stories is my eight of spades for the year. In the introduction the book made a steep promise that these are the kind of stories that will leave you changed; I would have to say it fell short in that regard. However, I still enjoyed reading most of the short stories in this book.

My favorite short story in the book is called 'What men live by', by Leo Tolstory. I feel that if I say very much about the story, I may end up giving it away and ruin the experience for anyone else who may want to read it. I will say that reading both Tolstoy, and Dostoevsky in this book left me with the impression that life in Russia was very difficult for the average family during the 19th century.

My least favorite story in the book was called 'A Good man is hard to find', by Flannery O'Connor. Somehow this story is supposed to show that grace is available to all -- but I didn't get that at all from the story. The feeling that the story left me with was that life was random and meaningless. I suppose that one thing I am thankful for in the story is that she doesn't create any really likeable characters. That may sound odd but if you read the story, you will understand what I mean when you get to the end.

Overall, I enjoyed the book and was happy to get exposure to a wide variety of authors.

Sometimes you need a good laugh :-)

2008-04-06T20:16:00.000-05:00

Peak

2008-03-18T08:45:00.000-05:00

My seven of spades for this year is a book called 'Peak' by Roland Smith. My daughter bought this a while back at her schools book fair, and she wanted me to read it. I'm betting that she thought I would enjoy it because I love the mountains. It is a light, and entertaining read that will give you a clue about the difficulties and perils involved in climbing to 'the top of the world'.

The story is told from the perspective of a 14 year old boy named Peak, who's estranged father wants to take him to the top of Mount Everest. If he succeeds, he will be the youngest person to have reached the summit and both he and his father's expidition company will benefit from the noteriety. As the story unfolds, another boy, Sun-jo, who is a poor son of a Sherpa, ends up on the expidition. Sun-jo is one week older than Peak, so Peak would still be the youngest if they both reached the summit together. For Peak, the fame and noterity wouldn't change his life much. He already lives in a nice home, and goes to an exlusive private school. For Sun-jo, however, the noterity could change his entire families fortunes. Peak, discovers he has a choice to make, summit Everest himself, or let Sun-jo. Of course if you want to find out what happens, you will need to read it for yourself :-).

Traveling Mercies

2008-03-17T21:58:00.000-05:00

To be honest, I've read several books since I've read this one, and have forgotten to post on any of them. Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott, I would characterize as the story of her faith journey. She is very forthright in this book, you get to see the good and bad in her life and she doesn't candy coat any of it. This is definitely not your typical Christian Bookstore fare (Some of the four letter words probably got it banned). I personally could relate to much of her background, given my background and family, so I really enjoyed the story of her faith journey, and enjoyed reading about some of the insights that she gained along the way. Life can be hard, and Anne definitely has been right in the middle of some very painful situations. A close friend dying of cancer, and one of her son's playmates diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis just to name a few.

There are a few quotes in the book that she is known for. One of them being, "Unforgiveness is like eating rat poison, and waiting for the rat to die". Beyond that, I think I'll leave the rest for you to discover for yourself, should you dare to read it :-).

Holy

2008-03-11T21:40:00.000-05:00

OK, you probably aren't going to believe me, so start reading. What are you not going to believe? Just this -- that sin and holiness are not opposites. OK, go back and start reading again. Did you notice that lots of places and inanimate objects get called holy? Can inanimate objects sin? So if inanimate objects can't sin and yet they can be holy, then holiness must be something other than some sort of moral, or personal character trait. I know that some of you do know the answer to what holiness is already don't you. You know that holiness is about being separate, distinct and, in the case of items, set aside for special use by God. And when the angels cry "holy! holy! holy!", the are proclaiming Gods special uniqueness. The only uncreated, self-sustaining, truly independent being that exists. We are made of the stuff of this universe (atoms if you like), God is not.

So are you wondering what is the opposite of sin? Well if sin is breaking the law, and love (agape) fulfills the law then it would be love wouldn't it? Or since the law points us to the greater reality of love, then you could say that to sin is to break agape, or to not love.

Well, I hope that is a big paradigm shift for you (unless you already knew this), it certainly was for me :-)

Wrath?

2008-02-29T09:03:00.000-06:00

I may get in trouble for admitting this, but I have some confessions to make. First, I still attend a local congregation with my wife and kids. Second, I teach 10th grade boys during 'Sunday School' (God help them). Third, I try my best not to listen to the sermon. Usually, I crack open my bible and begin reading in an effort to tune out whoever is speaking. I have to do this for the sake of my sanity, really. If you read my previous post, you can understand why I don't want to go back to that kind of thinking, and much of the time the god that many a preacher presents sound downright mean and nasty, like he keeps a flamethrower handy to toast anyone who steps out of line.

This past Wednesday, however, I heard a pastor say something that smacked me in the forehead and helped me to see that I can sometimes still read certain passages with my old religious lenses on and not even realize it. I'm talking about Romans chapter 1, where it talks about the 'wrath of God being revealed against all unrighteousness'. Now, I shouldn't be totally surprised that he said something this cool and amazing, because he is a good friend who is on a journey of his own with God -- away from the traditional religious view.

So Wednesday night, during the Q & A time someone asked him if AIDS was God's punishment for homosexuality, and I believe that they made a reference to Romans chapter 1; this is a typical fundamentalist take on AIDS. His answer was an unequivocal no. And then he said that if you pay attention to the passage it says 'God gave them over' not 'God punished them with or for' and that often sin is it's own punishment. That's when I heard the smack on my forehead. Sounds like something I read in 'The Shack' which I knew from life experience was true, but didn't realize there was a Scripture to back it up. I had to go read it for myself to be sure, which is funny because I am quite familiar with this passage but all those years had been reading it wrong. That is a very different kind of wrath indeed, not the god with the flamethrower, but the Father who lets the prodigal go hoping that he will learn that what he is wanting will destroy him. And, once he has learn that, turn back toward home.

Jesus Loves You

2008-02-28T14:39:00.000-06:00

Every morning I board the commuter bus to downtown Houston. Most days, I take a book to read while on the bus. I've found that riding an adult bus isn't nearly as fun as the bus rides I remember during my school days. Back then, you talked to your fellow bus riders to pass the time. Most days on the bus, nobody talks to each other, so I've taken to reading.

Lately I've been reading 'Traveling Mercies' by Anne Lamott; it's a good read, and I'm nearly done. Today, however, I reached in my laptop bag and found that the book was AWOL, probably hiding in the backseat of my car. Since my reading plans had been thwarted, I decided to pull out my ipod and listen to some music and podcasts.

So there I am, happily listening to a podcast and looking out the window while the bus carries us to our downtown destinations via the HOV lane when a hand painted sign in the middle of an empty field catches my eye. The sign said 'Jesus Loves You'. Now, you must understand that had I seen that sign 2.5 years ago when I first moved to Houston, my first thought would have been "Yeah! Right!", thought in a very sarcastic way of course. I know this for a fact because, at the time, there were huge billboards all around the city that were put up by the local christian radio station that had the words 'God Listens' in black on a plain white background (maybe they should have bought the red-letter edition billboards). I hated seeing those billboards; things were falling apart around me -- finances, family issues -- and I didn't see any answers (no, no one sent me a check for $50,000 to solve all my financial woes). I had even called that radio stations 'prayer line' only to get the standard 'God Listens, we will pray for you.' Anne Lamott says that the 2 best prayers she knows are 'help me, help me, help me' and 'thank you, thank you, thank you'. I was definitely praying the 'help me, help me, help me' prayer back then. I can admit now that, for the first time in my life, I began to contemplate how to best end my life; pills? plastic bag? high speed car accident? That's when I got an answer to my 'help me, help me, help me' prayers in the most unusual way. Somehow, the book 'So you don't want to go to church anymore?' ended up on the results of a google search, and that book lead me into a place where I could breath again and begin to see God's Love for me afresh.

So today when I saw that little sign in the field, with the words 'Jesus Loves You' written in red, I smiled. Something has definitely shifted inside me because I believed the words. I don't know how to explain it; my eyes must have been playing tricks on me because I could have sworn that the sign materialized right in front of my eyes as I was looking at the field, and I felt like I was meant to see the sign. Just think, if my book hadn't been misplaced, I would have never seen it. All I have to say is 'Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!'

What Movie Are You

2008-02-23T00:24:00.000-06:00

I was listening to a debate, and surfing the web when I came across this quiz. I liked the results so I thought I would share :-).

What movie are you?

The Bourne Identity

You love action and car chases... smart and strong-willed. Can't say I disagree with you, though!

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

God slipping us messages?

2008-02-22T22:26:00.000-06:00

Jim Palmer, in his book 'Wide Open Spaces' has a chapter titled 'Could God be slipping us messages through Netflix?'. Tonight I went to the local cinema and watched a future Netflix title called 'U23D'. If you are a fan of U2 this is definitely a must see. It was filmed at a stadium concert in South America in 3D of course.

The main reason for me mentioning this however, is because it was contained the same theme as many of the Books, Movies, and even people who have crossed my path at this season of my life. That theme could be easily summed up in Jesus' words -- "Love God, Love your neighbor." I once heard a guy say that we often miss God speaking to us because we are looking for burning bushes; we have forgotten that Jesus has eye color and speaks to us in very human terms. Maybe this is part of what he meant. I used to think that I had somehow accidentally gotten a womans intuition, because my intuition is pretty reliable, that is unless I have a personal stake in the issue. Then my intuition may be masked by fear, greed, or some other blinding negative emotion or thought. But lately I've been thinking that this intuition thing really has been the Holy Spirit all along, and is something that I learned to listen to. Funny how the Holy Spirit never got upset over me not realizing this before now :-).

Rob has entered a season of skepticism and wonders in a recent post if attributing such coincidences to God may be simply reading God into nothing more than a coincidence. I'm definitely prepared to accept that as a possibility. I may be backwards from everyone else in the world, but science has always pushed me toward a belief in God, and Religion has often pushed me away from that belief. Weird huh? I keenly remember sitting in my college biology class learning how the helicase and polymerase enzymes replicates DNA, and realizing the immense complexity of one life and incalculable odds against life ever coming into existence on it's own. It seemed like a spiritual moment to me, even in the midst of a professor who daily espoused a belief in evolution and natural origins. That pattern continues to this day. I watch the Discovery Channel, and I see miracles everywhere (much to the chagrin of the Discovery Channel producers I'm sure). Then on any given Sunday, I'll walk into a local church and see a manifest absence of the miraculous.

Can all these things be explained naturally? I suppose so, but I keep coming back to the statistical possibilities (this may be a curse of being a computer geek). The coincidences are like flipping a penny and coming up heads 50 times in a row. I'm just not that lucky. And the fact that we are all here living and breathing is like coming up heads 12 billion times in a row. So for now, I'm sticking with that intuition thing and saying that yes God is slipping us messages. Just don't ask me that on Sunday morning ;-).

Wide Open Spaces

2008-02-22T15:37:00.000-06:00

My 5 of spades was Wide Open Spaces by Jim Palmer. An excellent read if you get the chance to read it. One of the questions he poses really hit home with me. I'm sure you've heard the quote often attributed to John Wesley that goes "in essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, in all things charity". In the book, Jim discusses this quote, which typically refers to the doctrines you believe, and he poses the possiblity that we have been getting the essentials wrong. 'What if the essentials are love God, and love your neighbor?', he asks. Launching from this question, he takes you along with him on a voyage into freedom. He also makes the suggestion that when you experince love for your fellow man, you are infact experiencing God himself. Through the rest of the book Jim shares his story of how he is learning to do what love would do and ends the book with another question 'Where have all the little Christs gone?'

A friend loaned me this book, but I thought is was worth purchasing for myself (which I plan to do this weekend.)

Escaping the Matrix

2008-02-01T14:57:00.000-06:00

Well, I expected to fly through the next couple of books because they are all fairly small, but my 4 of spade's isn't the kind of book you can go through in a day or two; it's called Escaping the Matrix: Setting Your Mind Free to Experience Real Life in Christ by Greg Boyd and Al Larson.

I picked this up at the local bookstore's bargain table for a whopping $2.50 mainly because I'm intriuged by the idea of the 'Matrix' as a metaphor for how we are often trapped in systems without recognizing that we are trapped. From the title, I didn't know where the authors were going with this, but having read about half of the book so far, the are limiting the scope of the book to what you might call a psychological matrix. The book helps you to understand how your mind processes the information it recieves, how to explore the nature of thought, and the patterns that are impressed upon you from others. There are also some exercises that can help you to become a 'detective of your mind' if you wish; this is the big reason why the reading is going slower than expected. I decided to give thier little experiments a try, otherwise I wouldn't know if they were really talking about something useful.

One of the things that I never thought about before is how we 'do thought', and for this alone the book has been insightful to me. Here's a quote:

Most of us haven't paid attention to Aristotle's insight that 'the soul never thinks without images.' Most people assume that they think with conceptual information -- which perhaps explains why we tend to trust conceptual information so much to transform us, despite our uniform experience that this trust doesn't usually pay off. We just haven't known there was anything else to go on. Why have we missed this?

Escaping the Matrix, p. 58-59

They go on to explain how we re-present or re-experience the things we thinking of in our minds, but this usually happens so fast that we don't realize what's going on. The goal of this book is to find out, which re-presentations, or re-experiences are based on lies, and work to remove those faulty 'neurochip' as they authors call them. I'll probably write a few more times on this, and let anyone know if it's worth the read or just some more psycho-babble :-).

Infidel

2008-01-28T21:21:00.000-06:00

My thee of spades as I mentioned before is Infidel. I did finish reading the book for a couple of reasons. First, as I mentioned before was this common theme of the 'Books of History' that Ted had introduced in The Circle Trilogy. Second, the names of several of the main characters seemed very familiar to me, and at least 3 of them are very close to the names of 3 characters in Showdown. Finally, there seems to be a bit of a puzzle that Ted is putting together, and I love puzzles. He is weaving several of his books together into a larger story. It will be interesting to see if he can pull it off.

As for the part of the story where I just couldn't side with the main character, fortunately it was short-lived. Unfortunately, there were serious consequences that resulted (as expected I suppose). The rest of the story centers around themes of love and compassion, even for your 'enemies' which made reading the rest of the book worthwhile.

Well, now it's on to some non-fiction reading for a while.

Chosen

2008-01-24T22:01:00.000-06:00

My 2 of spades for this year is 'Chosen' by Ted Dekker. Oh what a tangled web Ted is weaving. If you haven't read any of Ted's previous books, then this probably isn't the best book to start with. The story intersects with several other of his books including 'The Circle' trilogy, 'Showdown', and 'Skin'.

Chosen takes place on another world, during the equivalent of our 'Old Testament' period, that is fairly important to be aware of as you read this book. The book is the first in a planned series of seven, two of which are already out. I not sure what I think about this series right now. In 'Chosen' the main character, Johnis, is chosen by God to go on a mission to recover seven lost 'Books of History'. At one point I was quite upset and about ready to put the book down, because he does take up the mission, does what he was asked to do and is promptly tortured and nearly killed. I finished the book and was OK with how it ended, but now I'm onto the next book in the series and, by chapter 4, I'm already wanting to quit reading the series again. This time the main Character is planning something counter to his mission, and I just can't get on his side. If I can't identify with the main character, it won't be an enjoyable read. I am intrigued by Ted's theme regarding 'The Books of History' and that is the only reason I may continue reading; but as of now, I'm leaning towards aborting my plans to read this series. Sorry Ted....

Blink of an Eye

2008-01-22T21:49:00.000-06:00

I'm going to borrow an idea from a friend and use a deck of cards as bookmarks to keep track of the books I read throughout the year. The goal is to read one book a week or 52 in a year. I won't have any angst about not making it, but it will be interesting to see how many I've read by the year's end.

My first several books are already lined up. I had asked for a book by Ted Dekker for Christmas and ended up with 3. So my first 3 books will be fiction books, the first of which I have already completed. So the Ace of Spades for me was 'Blink of an Eye'.

Ted Dekker holds a special place in my life because it was through his writings (the Circle Trilogy) initially that I started to see that I was a bit like the Pharisees -- following a set of religious rules and calling that a 'relationship'. Ted also tends to have his main characters overcome antagonists by unconventional means. The main characters may initially combat evil with the same weapons or skill, and may even be skilled at doing so. However in the end they usually learn that the only way to defeat their opponent is by Love or Truth.

'Blink of an Eye' does not disappointed in the regard. I was going to quote part of the book to give you a taste, but alas I loaned the book out just a few hours ago. At any rate, blink is a story about a man, Seth, who finds out that he can see possible futures. These futures depend in part on his choices and in part on the choices of others. He ends up using this gift to help a Saudi Princess flee an arranged marriage. Seth initially believes that his gift proves that there is no God, since there is not a single set future that he sees. There is something that happens that ends up changing his mind about that, but I will not spoil that for you should you decide to read it. I definitely found it stimulating to think about what 'determines' the future, and what does God know about it. It is also worth mentioning that the subtitle to the book is "Love Changes Everything". That thought is covered well in the book. At one point the Princess tells Seth that he has relied upon his intellect, but in the end he needs to rely on Love. I'm not sure that blink will really rank as high as the Ace of Spades for the year -- only time will tell, but it certainly wasn't a bad book. If you like action, suspense, and thinking about the impact our choices have in history then this is a good book for you.

Oh as a side note, I have to share my bus story. I ride a commuter bus to and from work every day. It's a 45 minute ride, and it is where I get most of my reading done. Anyway, on my way home Friday I was reading a particularly suspenseful part of this book on the bus, and I kept hearing someone saying "Sir!". The book was so good however, that I was able to effectively tune them out. The next thing I knew someone was waving their hand in front of my face. "The nerve of some people!", I thought, "Can't they tell I'm reading!" I looked up and the bus was completely empty -- the hand and voice belonged to the bus driver that was trying to get my attention. She asked, "Are you really wanting to go back downtown?" I was surprised that I hadn't noticed everyone getting off the bus. Embarrassed, I thanked the bus driver for checking on me and quickly got off the bus; she could have just closed the bus door and headed back down town. That was the first (and hopefully last) time that has ever happened to me. Oy Vey!

Wii!!!!

2008-01-10T19:24:00.000-06:00

I know this is random, but hey I did call this 'Rick's Ramblings'. Anyway, we managed to procure a Wii that we gave to the kids (ages 16,10,6, and 2) for Christmas. They have all enjoyed playing it immensely and my 2 year old really enjoys watching the older kids play.

Here's the catch. The kids went back to school, my oldest son and my wife went to Thailand, I'm home watching the 2 year old, and the DVD player broke this week. So whenever my 2 year old points at the Wii, guess who 'has' :-) to play the Wii? That would be me. I have been surprised to find out that you can actually break a sweat playing that thing, especially playing the level 1600 tennis opponents. Both arms are now sore (I've had to alternate arms) and I think I've lost a few pounds! Well, the wife gets back on Sunday (hurray!) and it will be back to the old desk job for me. Right now the kids keep me busy and worn out, maybe I'll be able to do some more posting after I recover.

Ahhhhh....

2007-12-05T13:44:00.000-06:00

No, I did not just burp or pass gas! Yesterday, while riding the commuter bus home from work, I suddenly realized that I felt quite a bit lighter in my spirit. Funny I hadn't fully realized I was carrying some weight until I noticed it was gone. Thanks Papa! What was that all about anyway?

I knew, of course, that I had been deeply disturbed by the images of Hell, as portrayed by a recent 'Judgement House' event. But I guess I didn't realize that it had become a constant weight on my soul. Wrestling through all that has helped me to realize just how deeply we are effected by Greek philosophy here in the west. As westerners when we hear the words Holy, Just, Righteous we automatically think in legal terms. That paradigm is greco-roman in origin and carries with it the though that God is more of a singular entity, than Trinity. It's an important distinction to make; if God is a singular entity then a legal/moral being would make the most sense. But the Father, Son, and Spirit is Trinity -- a community. That means that the Father, Son, and Spirit are relational at their core, just as we are. Now look at the terms Holy, Just, and Righteous in relational terms instead of legal terms. They take on whole new meanings. Holy - whole, beautiful, perfect community. Just - setting things right, a promise to restore all things. Righteous - relationally right.

Just some thoughts that have helped me to see our true Father a bit better.

This is a bit random, but I just had to post this quote from C. Baxter Kruger talking about the idea the God punishes Jesus for our sin:

There is no forgiveness in that model. God doesn't forgive you, Jesus suffers your punishment. That's not forgiveness is it? It's justice; there's not any forgiveness there. Now, I know that rocks your world -- I hope it does.

Just another reason why I believe the Cross was a cure for our sin, rather than satisfying God's supposed 'need' to punish.

A public thank you to Paul, Wayne, Brad, and Papa

2007-11-27T14:19:00.000-06:00

I want to thank these guys, and Papa for 'The Shack', I have read it 3 times to date and it continues to impact me deeply.
Paul, Wayne and Brad have all been voices of Hope in a sea of voices that seem to want to kill the smouldering ember of faith that I have. Just today, I was at lunch thinking about the story of 'Baby Grace'; my emotional blender couldn't quite decide on the anger setting, or the tears setting. She was found not 20 minutes from my home, and lived 45 minutes away when she was alive. I have a 2 year old myself (youngest of 4) so it was particularly difficult for me to understand how someone could do this. I thought "God, If you would have told me, I would have gone a picked her up before all this happened. I would have taken care of her, or Travis and Sundy could have taken care of her." (Travis and Sundy are friends who have tried for years to have a child and are now close to an adoption in January) And the amazing thing is that Papa answered back, which doesn't happen often for me (or should I say I don't hear it that often). He said, "Do you think I will be a good Father to her? Because I saw her, and now she is home with me." I totally lost it; not a pretty thing when you are eating Chick-Fil-A in the middle of a mall food court -- not a pretty sight when you are trying to type it in an email in the middle of a cube farm at work and it makes you all blubbery again either. I don't think I would have heard God say that to me if these guys hadn't given me a touch point that has enabled me to know God as a Papa who is especially fond of his children.

Thank you, and may the outbound ripples continue.

A Season of busy-ness

2007-10-26T09:11:00.000-05:00

Oy vey! (That's yiddish if you've ever wondered) I have been busy lately. It makes me wish for a simpler time, when you could enjoy the relationships of family and friends.

But for now, we have a few more weeks of being busy ahead of us. My wife is a photographer, and we are heading into the Christmas season. So that means a full schedule for her, and a few evening and weekend appointments, even though she is usually reluctant to do so. To add to the madness, our oldest works at a college books store, but doesn't have his license yet so we shuttle him to and from work two to three days a week. Then my daughter is taking some art classes in the eveing and my 6 year old son is now in Cub Scouts. He is a Tiger Cub, which requires a parent to be present, and since I'm the resident boy scout expert, that falls to me. I really do enjoy it, but I've been finding myself far busier that I had hoped. Oh well, things should ease up come January. Oh wait! My wife and oldest son will be off to Thailand in January leaving me to take care of the other 3 kids. Maybe mid-January.

Did God get a makeover after Malachi?

2007-10-10T15:11:00.000-05:00

Wayne and Brad over at The God Journey discuss the challenge of reconciling God's actions in the Old Testament, where God appears to be harsh and vengeful, with his actions in the New Testament, specifically with the gentleness of Jesus. Some people wonder what happened. Is this 2 different Gods? Or is Jesus the nice guy, and God the father is the mean guy (with a personality more in line with the godfather). Or is there something else going on that we need to consider. It is a very interesting discussion and can be heard here.

In the podcast Brad spends quite a bit of time on the unorthodox view that Nephilim were the reason for the flood, and the mass genocide that God commanded when Israel entered the promised land. I enjoy listening to Brad, and I certainly don't think that this unorthodox view is Heretical in any way, but I wish they would have spent more time on other possible explanations. I don't think it really is necessary to dig that deep to find an adequate explanation. I do think that you do really need to look at each of these events in the context of the larger story of the Bible. The overarching story of the Bible is one of God pursuing and rescuing humanity and if you keep that in mind, you can concluded that there were good reasons for these actions, even if we don't fully understand them. There are two things that I notice in particular. First the most extreme actions appear very early on in human history -- perhaps during critical junctures in history, where the plan to rescue humanity could have been derailed if such extreme measures were not taken. And the second observation is these actions in reality were rare, and not as common place as one might think. Sometimes we miss that point because there are no dates affixed to each of these events in the Bible.

So is Brad right? I don't know, but I do not think that God is up in heaven playing 'whack a sinner', constantly whacking those who step out of line. I think that he is reluctant to take such actions, and only does so when there is no other way.

soft gnostics and semi pelagians

2007-10-08T15:13:00.000-05:00

I was blog surfing yesterday and came across a post where someone said the 90% of Americans were soft gnostics and semi-pelagians. I'm sure this was the bloggers personal opinion, but it got me wondering. What was he seeing that caused him to make the statement. First I think that in context he was really talking about 90% of American Christians.

So, if there was a 'Gnosticism for Dummies' it would say something along the lines of, "Material things are bad, spiritual things are good". There is a lot more to gnosticism, of course, but I think this will due for now. Maybe the blogger I read was looking at Evangelicalisms focus on 'saving souls'. Certainly in evangelicalism there appears to be a lack of concern for things like social justice, or the environment (it's all going to burn after all). Could this be considered soft gnosticism?

As for semi-pelagianism the definition can be found here. I also have a friend who took one of those 'what is your theological worldview' quizes and he registered as semi-pelagian. At the end of the quiz's results it said 'If you left God out of your beliefs, nothing would change'. Kind of harsh, but many of his posts do border on something like - 'if we don't get busy, nobody will get saved'.

Camping

2007-10-03T08:09:00.000-05:00

I took a couple of days off last weekend, and went camping with a friend of mine as part of celebrating my 39th birthday. There were supposed to be four of us guys going but two of them backed out at the last moment. I was determined to go, even if I had to go alone, because it had been 4 years since I had gone camping. As soon as we got there, I thought to my self, "why don't I do this more often"? The campsite was absolutely picturesque; nestled among the trees and located on the shorline of a small lake. I really enjoy sitting among the trees, looking at nothing in particular, and just decompressing. It was a wonderful time of chatting around a campfire, reading, hiking, swimming, and enjoying the beauty of the outdoors.

Message of the arrows

2007-09-17T12:23:00.000-05:00

Over the past 2 years, I've had probably a half-dozen instances where I woke up in the middle of the night with this fear that God didn't exist, or if he did, he certainly could care less about me. The very first time it happened was during a particularly difficult time and it was a borderline panic attack as a jumble of thoughts bounced around my head. "Maybe God doesn't exist", "You are all alone, no one can help you.", "When you die all this will be meaningless, you wont even know that you ever existed, dieing now or in 30 years won't make any difference".

None of the episodes that followed were nearly as severe as that one and I believe a major reason for that is due to God revealing to me that my life lived in him is not to be lived out Religiously, but Relationally -- even the phrase 'relationship with Christ' that I often used (religiously) has taken on a new meaning. Still I have had a couple of recurrences. Even though they are pretty minor these days, I've started wondering what that is all about. I've prayed about it, and I've asked a couple of trusted friends what they thought, and all of them have helped me to think about what is going on. Even though the details of what my friends have suggested have been different, a general consensus is that God is working out something deep within me and I'm beginning to think that the issue is something that happened in my childhood. Something unresolved that has been buried in my subconscious for quite some time and has kept me from trusting Father.

I hesitate to give details of my childhood because someone might get the idea that my life as a child was all hell all the time, but it wasn't. I do have some wonderful memories of my childhood and of my family. But there was abuse in our home, and there is no way to sugar coat that reality. There is what you could call a defining moment in my memory that I still remember vividly to this day. I'll spare you the details, but after I had received a particularly severe punishment, I was crying out to God. I begged him to take me out of the family that I was in because I couldn't take it anymore. I was desperate, and in pain, and probably in need of medical care. I even gave God an ultimatum, "Please take me out of this family, or I won't believe in you any more." My prayer was met with silence, God didn't take me away to live with another family and, at 11 years old, I learned that I was on my own that day.

I think that if I'm brutally honest with myself, to this day, I don't ask God to do anything difficult out of fear of disappointment. Somewhere deep down, I don't think he would do (fill in the blank) for me. Who am I after all, just one of 6 billion on this planet.

I know that there aren't too many that read this blog, but if you've ever had to deal with anything like this, please drop me a line. Let me know how God worked it out with you. As for me and God, we are going to have a weekend alone soon and, just maybe, like Mack and his encounter at The Shack, I'll come away changed.

Conflicted

2007-09-12T22:13:00.000-05:00

Maybe I shouldn't be bothering to post this at all, but it was what was on my mind tonight because I was shown this video earlier this evening and I was honestly confused and conflicted about what they were trying to say with this skit. When it first started, it didn't make any sense to me at all. I didn't know what all the hand waving and puppetry was all about. Then I hated it when it portrayed Jesus as a bystander who was being pushed around by someone (Satan maybe?). But then there is the moment later in the skit where it looks like Jesus takes the girl's place, that was very touching to me. I don't know if the idea of substitution was what they actually intended, but that's how I took it.

Here's a comment off of youtube from an atheist's perspective:

I didn't think this was god related till I started to read comments... probably because I am an atheist and god is not a first thing on my mind... nevertheless, I really enjoyed the video. The performance was strong, acting beautiful and music made it very emotional... Speaking of music, does anybody know who sings this...?

I'm sure that there will be a wide range of opinions on this thing, but I really am interested in hearing what you have to say about it.

Update: If you too were wondering who sang the song, the band's name is LifeHouse.

I'm sick of your Religion, Religion, Religion!

2007-09-10T09:52:00.000-05:00

"Why this frenzy of sacrifices?"
God's asking.
"Don't you think I've had my fill of burnt sacrifices,
rams and plump grain-fed calves?
Don't you think I've had my fill
of blood from bulls, lambs, and goats?
When you come before me,
whoever gave you the idea of acting like this,
Running here and there, doing this and that—
all this sheer commotion in the place provided for worship?

"Quit your worship charades.
I can't stand your trivial religious games:
Monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings—
meetings, meetings, meetings—I can't stand one more!
Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them!
You've worn me out!
I'm sick of your religion, religion, religion,
while you go right on sinning.
When you put on your next prayer-performance,
I'll be looking the other way.
No matter how long or loud or often you pray,
I'll not be listening.
And do you know why? Because you've been tearing
people to pieces, and your hands are bloody.
Go home and wash up.
Clean up your act.
Sweep your lives clean of your evildoings
so I don't have to look at them any longer.
Say no to wrong.
Learn to do good.
Work for justice.
Help the down-and-out.
Stand up for the homeless.
Go to bat for the defenseless.
Isaiah 1:11-17 (The Message)

I was talking to a friend yesterday who was telling me about a Sunday School debate that he was involved in where some in the class were arguing that God doesn't listen to us when we have unconfessed sin. Isaiah 1:15 was one of the proof text's that they were using to support this position.

Besides the fact that I personally think that it is hazardous to uncritically read the Old Testament without a good understand of the change that brought about by the Cross of Christ, I find it rather humorous that someone would use this particular passage to support such a claim. In context, what is God saying here? It looks to me like the people were in fact doing the confessing thing, and God was saying he's not going to listen to their confessions any more because it was just an insincere ritual. In reality this passage speaks against turning confession into a formula for getting your prayers answered. God doesn't play that game. "Come let us reason..." are the next words in this passage. God wants us to sit down and have a talk, because he knows that if we get to know him, it will begin to change us. Religious activities can't do that.

I need a laptop or something....

2007-09-05T07:44:00.000-05:00

Every day that I go to work, I climb aboard a commuter bus that takes me from my suburban community to downtown Houston. I love this because it gives me about 40 minutes each way to read, think, listen to music, or a pod-cast. The only negative to this arrangement is that most of my musings are done on the bus, so I don't get to share those musings with any readers of my blog as often as I had hoped.

I mentioned to my wife that I should get a laptop so that I could write my thoughts down, to which she said, 'buy a notepad'. What? Me write? My hand cramps up just writing a check (which is rare these days). Oh, well, maybe I'll have to give her suggestion a try and see how it goes. But a laptop would be pretty cool...

Apparently not even a little bit extraverted...

2007-08-29T12:27:00.000-05:00

I would love to be an extravert at least once in my life, so I would know what that was like. Oh, well. I've scored pretty much the same on these things over the years, so this is a fairly accurate representation. I am far more comfortable talking to and getting to know individuals, than crowds. And I usually prefer to listen. So no suprises here for me.

Adventures in learning to drive

2007-08-28T14:31:00.000-05:00

My oldest son now has his learners permit, and as dad I'm the one who gets to sit in the passenger seat and attempt to give him pointers as he learns to drive. He has actually been doing very well, but yesterday we had our first close call. We were driving down the road in the right-most lane and a little ways up ahead there was a car stopped in our lane. As we got closer, my son still hadn't started to brake or let even let off the gas. I began to yell 'Stop! Stop! Stop!' at the top of my voice out of sheer terror as the bumper of that car quickly began to close in. As he finally began a much harder than normal brake, all the thoughts of things that could still go wrong filled my head and continued to cause a great amount of fear; 'What if there is a patch of gravel in the road and we end up sliding into that car, or what if the vehicle behind us can't stop in time because we haven't given them much warning.' I have experienced both of these before, so my experience tells me that you can never brake too early, only too late. My son probably saw things differently than I did for 2 reasons. First, being a new driver he probably has the idea that the car will always do exactly what you want it to, so you can 'stop on a dime' if you want. Second he was the one behind the wheel, and being behind the wheel give you more options than the passenger has. As the passenger, I was in sheer terror and I wanted to be anywhere but in that car in those few moments.

At the risk of over spiritualizing this incident, it got me thinking about how we often take people where they don't want to go. We sometimes take them on a ride of sheer terror, and they will do anything you ask if you would just them go. Paul encourages us to give grace to the hearer, but do we? How often have you heard this coming from someone who loves to tell people about hell -- "Jesus preached on hell twice as much as he did about heaven". I've heard countless people tell me that, but now with the age of computers we can now easily dispel that myth. I went to biblegateway and did a search of only the gospels and found the following statistics.

Hell appears in the Gospels 11 times, you can get up to 18 times if you include verses about 'outer darkness', and 'fiery furnace'.
'Kingdom of Heaven', 'Kingdom of God', or Kingdom (in reference to the previous) appears in the Gospels 110 times.
Heaven appears 135 times.

Apparently Jesus actually talked about God's Kingdom 10 times more often than he talked about hell. Jesus never dismissed the reality of hell, but it obviously wasn't his main method of inviting people into the Kingdom. Now you know the truth of the matter the next time someone tries to tell you that, you can tell them you know better. May we give grace to a world that is already familiar with fear and terror.

A fun quote

2007-08-03T21:57:00.000-05:00

"There are some who have no understanding to hear the truth of freedom and insist upon their goodness as means for salvation. These people you must resist, do the very opposite, and offend them boldly lest by their impious views they drag many with them into error. For the sake of liberty of the faith do other things which they regarded as the greatest of sins… use your freedom constantly and consistently in the sight of and despite the tyrants and stubborn so that they may learn that they are impious, that their law and works are of no avail for righteousness, and that they had no right to set them up."

--Martin Luther

Revival?

2007-07-16T08:08:00.000-05:00

This is a quote worth pondering, from Darin Hufford in his book "God's Honest Truth":

Christianity has become the Harley Davidson of
religions. It’s a classic, and it’s the most authentic, however, it
breaks down every hundred miles and needs to be revived. When
we stand on our stages in front of the world and pray for revival,
or proclaim that revival is upon us, we are, in the same sentence,
admitting to the world that our religion keeps dying on us. We
have history books that meticulously analyze every historical
revival that the Church has ever had in an effort to predict when
and where the next one might take place. All the while, we never
stop to think that if our religion keeps dying, something must be
drastically wrong!
The word, “Revival” is not even in the Bible. It was never the
intention of God to have a religion that routinely suffered from
heart failure. Sadly, we have come to expect it. We have become
addicted to the electrical shock that God has to routinely use in
order to bring our religion back to life every hundred years. We
preach to the world that if they come to Jesus Christ they will
have life ever lasting and then we completely discredit everything
we just said by laying down and
dying right in front of them. We
invite our friends to the revival that
our Church is holding and we
wonder why they don’t show up.
Who in the world would want to subscribe to a religion that
cannot maintain its own life? Have you ever heard of any other
religions that routinely need revival? Why is Christianity the only
one? What is it about our religion that causes it to die over and
over? Revival is not the answer!
The answer is actually quite simple. So simple, that to some
people it might even be a disappointment.

Is God interested in Projects or People?

2007-07-12T08:12:00.000-05:00

This week I have been a witness to some ... um, shall we say unloving actions that erupted around disagreements over 'ministry' events. I was sad to see the anger, hurt feelings, and friendships nearly come to an end over these disagreements; I was left wondering why we do this? All this got me thinking about how often this happens, and how we can get so focused on a task that we forget that all we 'do' is really about people.

In Matt 20:1-16, Jesus tell us a parable about a landowner who hires men to work in his vineyard. Some he hires in the morning, some at noon, and some near the end of the day. At the end of the day, he pays them all the same amount and the workers who were hired at the beginning of the day are upset by this. There are many lessons that can be drawn from this story, but one lesson that seems especially clear in this story is that the landowner (God) is more interested in the worker than he is the work. God isn't in need of people to work for him, he has no needs at all. In this story Jesus is trying to get us off of the works orienting mindset, and to start looking at the people around us in relational terms. What he desires is a relationship with people, and he expects us to have the same attitude.

I heard a Guy say that if this was a parable about a cook-out, then we would see things quite differently. We would say to the people who showed up at the end, "I'm so sorry you missed all the fun and fellowship, here have a hamburger and hot dog!" We would eagerly share all that we could with the latecomer, glad that they came at all. Wouldn't that be a wonderful way to live as brothers and sisters in Christ?

I dream of the day when these words of Jesus are fulfilled in us: 'by this all men will know you are my disciples, if you have love for one another' (John 13:35)

The most repeated command in the Bible

2007-06-22T12:52:00.000-05:00

You might be surprised to learn this, but the most repeated command in the Bible is -- "Fear Not".

While you are thinking about that one, check out this blog entry from the author of the shack.

The Need for Control

More on 'Knowing'

2007-06-07T09:37:00.000-05:00

I happened to be reading a Q&A session where N. T. Wright (a leading New Testament Scholar) was answering some questions from the Wrightsaid email list. In context the questions generally centered around whether Jesus 'knew' he was God. In the answer that he gave he made some interesting statements about Love being the highest form of knowing and I thought it would be worth posting his answer here.

Are you equating 'justified, true belief' with 'propositional knowledge'? If so, I think I want to shift the terms of the debate quite radically. I want to ask, do you hold some kind of hierarchy of knowledge, whereby some kinds of things are the 'real' or 'deep-level' knowledge and others less so? As you may know, I have come to the view, following Lonergan, that love is the highest mode of knowing; and love, notoriously, is difficult to tie down in propositions. That doesn't mean it isn't knowledge, or that it isn't true, or that it isn't justified, or that it isn't real. I think vocational knowledge -- knowing, in prayer, what God is saying about who you are called to be and become and do -- is quite close to love. I think knowing that two plus two equals four, while fully justified and true and real, is ultimately less significant than knowing I love and am loved, and knowing that God really is calling me to do and be certain things. And my frustration with the debate that swirls around this whole topic of 'Jesus' self-knowledge' is that people often seem to talk as though 'did Jesus know he was God' is more like 'knowing two plus two equals four' whereas I think it's much more like love or vocation.

In other words, I guess I have been driven, by my years of immersing myself in the gospels and in their Jewish context, to rethink all sorts of things about knowledge itself. I'm not claiming that the way I currently put it is correct. I just know (in several senses!) that it makes very good historical sense, theological sense (within a very high Christology and full Trinitarianism), and that it does NOT mean in any way a 'weakening' of Jesus' self-knowledge but rather a strengthening of it. I'm grateful for the question but I would urge those who are puzzled by all this, not to give up or back off but stick with the question and consider whether their ideas of knowledge might need to be pulled about a bit. Or, if they don't want to do that, whether they are prepared to argue against the ideas of knowledge I'm finding myself driven to.

Unless we have that debate, what's happening is that some people are putting my rather careful statements onto the Procrustean bed of their own late-western epistemologies -- like trying to play a Beethoven quartet on a guitar...

Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up

2007-06-05T17:55:00.000-05:00

We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the man who loves God is known by God.
1 Cor. 8:1-3

Have you ever left a church service, having listened to a teacher or preacher, deeply troubled; wondering if God really loved you? That happened to me nearly a year ago; I left church that day very depressed by the picture of God that was painted for me. A picture of a God that was not much interested in relationship but 'required obedience' in order to be satisfied. It took me a couple of days to recover from that and I haven't been back since. Since that time, I have pondered on several occasions as to why it bothered me so much? And I think God has been working that answer into my life ever since that day.

Back then, when I would say that 'I know God loves me/us', this was really a statement about a collection of facts and applied reason. The problem with relying on our knowledge and reason is that we sometimes have to re-evaluate our conclusions whenever we receive new information. That is essentially what I was going through that day since I was lead down the wrong 'track' ironically by a very common teaching about a 'train' that was supposed to help people understand what to place their trust in. This 'train' was a picture that showed 'fact' as the engine, 'faith' as a middle car on the train, and 'feeling' as the caboose. This picture was supposed to teach you that faith comes from knowing certain facts that you learn from the bible (mental ascent to proper theology). This image fit very well with the teaching in my particular denomination, a denomination that is known for 'in-depth Bible study' programs. However this ideology is really a result of the enlightenment idea that 'knowledge is power'.

There is another way of knowing based on relationship and personal experience rather than a collection of facts and applied reason. To say that I know that my wife loves me is something quite different than how I 'knew God loved me'. I have 14 years of relationship with her that has been tested by time and trials. I draw from that far more than I would draw from the occasional 'I Love You' notes that I get (even thought I do enjoy receiving them). Notes minus the experience wouldn't be very convincing at all, however the notes do add to the reality of relationship that is already there.

That fateful day exposed to me the reality that I was relying on facts and reason rather than on experience. The flimsy baloon of my knowledge was easily deflated by a single lesson that left me confused. I thought I knew something, but as paul said I didn't really know as I ought to know. We are finite beings; our understanding of facts and our reasoning ability are far too weak to rely on alone. Since then God has been showing me that the Bible was intended to point me to Him and have a real relationship here and now with Him. And I am recognizing the care he has had for me all along.

Here is a quote from The Shack that relates to this very subject:

'In seminary [Mack] had been taught that God had completely stopped any overt communication with moderns, preferring to have them only listen to and follow sacred Scripture, properly interpreted, of course. God's voice had been reduced to paper, and even that paper had to be moderated and deciphered by the proper authorities and intellects. It seemed that direct communication with God was something exclusively for the ancients and uncivilized, while educated Westerners' access to God was mediated and controlled by the intelligentsia. Nobody wanted God in a box, just God in a book. Especially one bound in leather with gilt edges, or was that guilt edges?'

Rejection

2007-05-31T08:29:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a tough day for me. I hadn't felt so down in quite a while; over a year now. When I was hired on at my current company almost two years ago, I knew that the position I was filling was a short-term project position. Now that I'm done with it, I am having to send my resume around to other teams in the company to see if anyone will pick me up. After sending my resume around to nearly a dozen teams, I have only heard from one team who politely informed me that they filled the position with another person.

So, yesterday a sadness hit me and I was a bit confused at first as to why I would be sad. God, had already dealt with my issue of wrongly tyinging my Significance to my job over a year ago, I know that I really don't look to my job for a sense of significance. Yesterday I thought that might be it initially, that I was still doing such a thing, but as I thought about it more it didn't seem to quite fit. I think I now know what is beginning to bother me so much. It feels like rejection; like I'm not wanted. That is something that God still needs to work on in me. Rejection has always been a tough thing for me to handle, I rarely dated in High School because the word 'no' to my request for a date would cause great turmoil within me for weeks. I hate interviews, and do poorly at them for the very same reason.

I used to pray for peace in such situations, but this morning I asked God not for peace, but I asked him to remind me of his Love and Acceptance of me. I believe he is doing that for me, because the pressure under my eyes that usually comes with my bouts of sadness has disappeared. I really am thankful; two years ago I would have never dreamed that I would go so long without feeling those tears just under the surface -- ready to pour forward. A year plus is truly something to be thankful for. Thank you God, for the revolution you have started in my heart.

God at our table

2007-05-24T13:18:00.000-05:00

Isn't there something to hearing the same message from 2 very different places? Maybe God is wanting me to understand something, eh? Last week I listed to a podcast that was discussing the Lord's Supper (Eucharist), and they were talking about how we misunderstand 'partaking in an unworthy manner'. Many people think we need to get all cleaned up to partake, but the guys in the podcast said that the ones that are truly worthy are the ones that come knowing that they don't deserve it. They also talked about how the early church celebrated it, not in a sanctuary where we came to the 'Lord's Table' but in homes there the Lord came to our table.

So yesterday I was minding my own business and then I heard a song by Bethany Dillion called "You are on our side" that took my breath away. Here are the words, but you should really go over to rhapsody to hear it.

(Warning Lyrics might be considered PG-13, so if that bothers you don't read it)

The orphan clings to Your hand
Singing the song of how he was found
The widow rejoices
For her oppressors are silenced now

You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side

The runaway falls at Your feet
You are what he has searched for
The rich man is broken
When he stands beneath a sky full of stars

You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side

You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side

Still, You sent Your Son for us
You are on our side

If you go over to rhapsody, you should check out her song 'The Kingdom' as well. Even though I'm not a big fan of repetitive lyrics, it still strikes a chord with me (The words more than the music). More to come....

The Shack

2007-05-22T20:55:00.000-05:00

I've recently finished reading a book called 'The Shack'....Actually I've read it 2 times so far, and will probably read it a third time very soon. It is gut-wrenching, thought provoking, and beautiful. Here is a snippet of something from it that has been bouncing around in my head for a while:

On the Law:

But can you clean your face with the same mirror that shows you how dirty you are? There is no mercy or grace in the rules, not even for one mistake. That's why Jesus fulfilled all of it for you -- so that it no longer has jurisdiction over you. And the Law that once contained impossible commands -- Thou shall not... -- actually becomes a promise we fulfill in you.

This book is rich with statements like this that challenge you to re-turn to the heart of God.

Long Absence from the blog, but God has been teaching me!

2007-05-04T22:38:00.000-05:00

I have been away from this too long. My goal was originally to try to post something at least once a week for a couple of reasons. One to throw some thoughts out there that may generate some discussion. And two, to work on my writing skills -- I used to love to write, but I have been out of it for so long that I have a hard time putting thoughts on paper.

I've been thinking about the core motivations of human beings. While thinking about this I found that a great deal of what we do can really be traced back to 2 primary desires in our hearts -- Love and Acceptance. Our desire for love and friendships can obviously be traced to these, but I think the drive for success, fame, or fortune can also be ultimately trace back to these as well. What is success really, isn't it about being known as someone who is competent, valuable, and looked up to in a particular field? Isn't that really about acceptance? What about Fame? Isn't that really about being known and adored by masses of people? Then there is fortune, but is it really about the stuff, or is it about making an impression (Acceptance), or having the time and freedom to be more social?

While I've been thinking about all this, the verses about the Treasure in the field, and the Perl of great price (Matt 13:44-46) have kept coming to mind, along with Romans 6 (You have died to sin), as well as the numerous verses about Love being the fulfillment of the Law (such as Gal 5:14). Our self-preferring (sin) nature is constantly seeking to find Love and Acceptance on it's own terms. But what if we really understood that God Loves us and Accepts us as we are. No need to 'prove' ourselves, or to perform better to be Loved. What if we had all the Love and Acceptance we needed in Him? Would that be the pearl of great price, or the treasure hidden in the field? Would we then sell (get rid of) all the old ways of finding love and acceptance? Would we then be dead to all those old ways as well, since they held no life, no comparison to the Love and Acceptance we have in our Father? And if we had truly found such a treasure, would we be able to keep quiet?

One thing that I find sad it how easily as Christians we can get caught up in details and miss the big picture entirely. We get so caught up in proper behavior that we miss the whole point. The point isn't a set of principles or rules. The ultimate reality isn't a set of truths or a standard, it a personal being -- God. A God who has come into our broken world to restore us and our relationship with him. We are relational at our core, that is why love and acceptance is so important to us. That is also why Scripture says Love is the fulfillment of the Law. Law tells us how to treat God, and people when we don't love them but Love will take us much farther than Law ever could. I think Paul understood this and that is why he said "But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code." (Rom 7:6)

I know that this is really nothing new; something that I have had 'knowledge' of for a while, but I think that God is beginning to work the truth of it into my heart.

Why I don't view the cross as punishment - part 2

2007-01-17T00:28:00.000-06:00

I'm slow, I know. I've been occupied the last couple of weeks with holidays, work, and some other interesting discussions online. One interesting thing I've found to be true is that we do tend to read our presuppositions into language that we read or hear. Sometimes we even make jokes about such miscommunication, especially those between Husbands and Wives. But I'm beginning to see that it happens much more often that we recognize. As a recent example, in one online discussion, one person kept using the phrase 'deeds of the flesh', and it became apparent that his mind was translating that phrase to mean evil deeds of the flesh, rather than all deeds of the flesh. I know that's a bit like chasing a rabbit, but I thought it would be worth mention when we look as the Scriptural language of the Cross. We don't want to fall into that trap and read a presupposition into what it really says.

I said that I wanted to look at the Scriptural language of the Cross, so here are the verses that I have discovered that may be relevant to this discussion.

1 Cor 15:3, 1 Pe 3:18 both say that Christ died for our sins, but do not say that he was punished for our sins.

Colossians 1:15-23 Says that God reconciled all things to himself by making peace though his blood.

Romans 8:1-4 Is the closest thing in the New Testament to something sounding like punishment. Is says that God sent Christ in the likeness of sinful man as a sin offering, and so condemned sin in sinful man. But condemning, or putting to death sin or our sin nature is something far different than punishing an innocent for someone else's crime.

2 Corinthians 5:16-21 God reconciled us to him. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Hebrews 9:15 He died as a ransom.

Heb 9:22 all things are cleansed with blood; without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness (Aphesis - forgiveness, release from bondage, deliverance). Again this is not saying there is a need for punishment, but a need for cleansing and forgiveness.

Revelation 1:5b-6 To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Very interesting, Christ freed us from our sin by his blood.

Why I don't view the Cross as punishment - Part 1

2007-01-07T22:23:00.000-06:00

I originally didn't intend part one to be this short. I've been working on a draft, and I keep tweaking, and thinking about what I want to say. But then it hit me...Duh...One of the reasons that I don't view the Cross as punishment is because of Athanasius. He was one of the earliest to write about the Incarnation, Death, and Resurrection of Christ, and not once does he say that Christ was punished by God for our sins. Rather He talks at length about how Christ destroys sin and death on the Cross.

You can read and English translation of his writing on the Incarnation here:

http://www.spurgeon.org/~phil//history/ath-inc.htm

By the way if you don't know who Athanasius is, he is one of the key people who helped to determine the cannon of Scripture that we use today. He is considered the first to identify the 27 books of the New Testament.

You've gotta read this

2007-01-03T08:39:00.000-06:00

My second installment of my previous post is almost ready. In the mean time, you've gotta read this!: http://dancinggod.org/

Have your Kleenex ready!

Why I don't view the Cross as punishment - Intro

2006-12-18T11:46:00.000-06:00

I haven't actually posted in a while because I was trying to work on a post that was becoming simply too large for a single post, so I'm going to break it up. Today I'm just going to give a bit of background, and a few sites to visit for those interested in further reading.

First a bit of background. I have spent the majority of my life as a Christian (21 years) in various Baptist Churches, and if pressed many of those pastors would probably espouse the theory of penal atonement (formal name for the theory that states that Christ took our punishment). However, no one ever really talked about how the cross 'worked', and would generally quote Scriptures, or talk in terms very similar to those found in Scripture. Such as: Christ died for our sin, or we are saved from our sin, or our sins separate us from God and there is nothing we can do to bridge that gulf, etc. So about 10 months ago, I was listening to the Transition Series by Wayne Jacobson who was the first person I had ever heard describe the workings of the Cross. He described the Cross as cure rather than punishment and this piqued my curiosity, so I have been doing a bit of reading, studying, and thinking about what he proposed. After much reading and contemplation, I would say that I have to agree with him and I hope to lay out my reasons why here over the next couple of weeks.

Second, I want to be clear that I am not saying that God doesn't punish or judge sin at all. The scriptures are clear that there will be a day of Judgement. However, this does not require us to make a conclusion that because God punishes sin that he must punish an innocent victim in order to forgive sins. The theory of penal atonement often reads like God is a divine computer where all equations must be balanced, rather than a sovereign being who has the authority to forgive sin as he pleases. I know that last sentence may cause a bit of angst and leave some wondering why we need the Cross at all. Here is a hint - think of who feels threatened, or feels they might die when God and sinful man come near to one another in the Bible.

Interestingly, Anslem of Canterbury in the 11th century was the first to raise the idea of the Cross as punishment in his book 'Cur Deus Homo'. His theory came to be known as the Satisfaction Theory, which would later be refined into the penal atonement theory by the reformers. So what did people believe for the first 1000 years of the Christian faith? Prior to Anslem, the prevailing theory was known as the Ransom theory which stated that Jesus ransomed humanity from the power of sin, death, and the devil. A more refined modern version of this theory is called 'Christus Victor' which implies that Christ triumphed over sin, death and the devil. This idea is actually portrayed in the movie 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe'. In the movie, Edward transgresses and because of that his blood belongs to the White Witch. Aslan makes an agreement with the Witch to die in Edwards place and the Witch agrees thinking that she will be rid of Aslan for good and be able to rule Narnia as she pleases. However, she didn't understand that what Aslan was doing would result in his victory over her.

So hear are the major areas that I hope to cover in the weeks ahead:

Scriptural Language of the Cross.
Who is the Cross for? Was the cross the sacrifice God gave (we needed), or was it the sacrifice God requires? Could it be both?
Who does the Cross change?
Penal Atonement doesn't take sin seriously enough. (I can hear you now thinking -- What in the world is he talking about? -- Stay tuned)

In the mean time here are some sites you can visit if you are interested in your own research.

Transitions on Lifestream. (listen to session 4, if you don't have time for the whole thing)
Penal substitution theory on theopedia
Christus Victor theory on theopedia
INTERVIEW - Wayne Grudem, Part Six - Did Steve Chalke Blaspheme About the Atonement?
biblegateway.com

Here are a couple of parting thoughts for you as you ponder this mystery. First, it is a mystery and when our feeble minds try to form words to describe the reality of what happened at the Cross, we automatically begin to make it something less than what it really is. Second, this is an idea that is under construction for me, so I am hoping that others will participate in the discussion to make points I may have not considered, etc. Finally please keep it civil, I will mod out any ad-hominem arguments.

Have fun and feel free to comment.

Going Deeper with Jesus

2006-12-04T14:09:00.000-06:00

I've been reading 'The Divine Conspiracy' by Dallas Willard; a book where (200 pages in at least) he has been covering the Sermon on the Mount. Willard's writing on this passage has been refreshing and challenging. I can't begin to do him justice, so I will quote him directly.

By no means, however, is he simply giving here three more things not to do, three more points on a 'list' of things to be avoided. Certainly we are not to do them, but that is not the point. ....
So here as elsewhere in his lovely Discourse on the Hillside, we need to put the idea of laws entirely out of our minds. Jesus is working, as already indicated, at the much deeper level of the source of actions, good and bad. He is taking us deeper into the kind of beings we are, the kind of love God has for us, and the kind of love that, as we share it, brings us into harmony with his life. No one can be 'right' in the kingdom sense who is not transformed at this level. And then, of course, the issue of not being wrongly angry, not expressing contempt, not calling people "stupid bastards," and so on is automatically taken care of.
When I go to New York City, I do not have to think about not going to London or Atlanta. People do not meet me at the airport or station and exclaim over what a great thing I did in not going somewhere else. I took the steps to go to New York City, and that took care of everything.
Likewise, when I treasure those around me and see them as God's creatures designed for his eternal purposes, I do not make an additional point of not hating them or calling them twerps or fools. Not doing those things is simply part of the package. "He that loves has fulfilled the law," Paul said (Rom. 13:8). Really.
On the other hand, not going to London or Atlanta is a poor plan for going to New York. And not being wrongly angry and so on is a poor plan for treating people with love. It will not work. And, of course, Jesus never intended it to be such a plan. For all their necessity, goodness, and beauty, laws that deal only with actions, such as the Ten Commandments, simply cannot reach the human heart, the source of actions. "If a law had been given capable of bringing people to life," Paul said, " then righteousness would have come from that law" (Gal. 3:21). But law, for all its magnificence, cannot do that. Graceful relationship sustained with the masterful Christ certainly can.
We learn this in our discipleship to Christ.
The Divine Conspiracy - p. 154-155

All I can say is wow. Did you see the key to a transformed heart? If you missed it here it is again: "He is taking us deeper into the kind of beings we are, the kind of love God has for us, and the kind of love that, as we share it, brings us into harmony with his life." Just as Paul said, "He that loves has fulfilled the law."

Disconnected Youth

2006-11-15T15:09:00.000-06:00

Today I was asked my opinion about a youth specialties report on youth in America. In this report the author talked about a recurring theme of 'feelings of abandonment' among today's youth. I'm not surprised, but I think that this goes deeper than that, and I think the problem isn't limited to our youth. Here is my response to my friends request:

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This may be more than you wanted, but let me go a step further than the article does. Rather than talk in terms of 'abandonment', let me talk in terms of 'disconnection'. Disconnection is a problem that really not limited to the youth of today, but they may be the first ones in recent history to grow up with no memory of what connectedness looks like. Whether, or not this is 'new under the sun', I really don't care. It is the reality of where we are today, and it is the issue before us that needs to be addressed.

When I was growing up there was still a sense of connectedness with people around you, a sense that you were part of a larger community. If someone was hitch-hiking, of course you would give them a ride. If someone was broke down on the side of the road, of course you would stop to give them a hand. If your neighbor was building a fence, you grabbed your hammer and gave him a hand. If you had a basket ball goal in your driveway, you expected all the neighborhood kids to use it.

If you lived in out in the 'country' as we called it, the connectedness was even stronger. Driving down a country road involved at least 2 stops in the middle of the road to chat with a passing neighbor. There was also weekly visits (at a minimum), from all the neighbors to see how you were doing, or to share some excess vegetables from their garden. The one neighbor who didn't visit on a regular basis was considered just plain weird.

My family also moved several times while I was growing up. Because of this connectedness, the sense of losing friends was tempered by the excitement of making new friends wherever we went. The possibility of not making friends in a new place never even entered my mind. For kids today, that is a real and scary possibility; heck it's not just a possibility for kids, its a possibility for adults too. I have worked at JPMorgan for over a year, and there isn't one person here whom I could truly call a friend and this is where I spend most of my time! Most days I eat lunch alone downtown in one of the largest cities in the country (Houston). I'm not saying this to feel sorry for myself, its just the reality of this culture that we live in.

Today we live in a society that is crowded, impersonal, rushed, and task oriented and that is how many of our congregations have become as well. Being rule or task followers doesn't solve this issue; anyone who has taken the time to read my story knows that I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt. There is a tremendous movement afoot in the body of Christ here in America and abroad that is questioning our traditional structures, and is making this sense of connectedness or community a priority. People are longing for connectedness again; both a sense of true connectedness to Christ who is our head, and a true connectedness to a local fellowship. Whether is a 'house', 'cell', 'fellowship', or 'emergent' church they are all making community a priority, some admittedly missing the first priority and best solution -- our connectedness to Christ.

So what does this mean for youth today? Yes they face many of the same issues that the generations before them did, but now these problems are only amplified by the disconnectedness they feel. Growing up can be difficult, terribly difficult at times and I know that I would be pushing up daises if I didn't have the relationships of those in my community. To be honest, my relationship with my father was bad, but thankfully I had other adults in my life who cared about me and helped me through some difficult times. Personally, the last thing I needed when I was growing up was yet another person telling me what I was doing wrong, but I know that not everyone is me. Some may need that, but whatever it is, we need to be up close and personal enough to know what their needs are. They need connections, we can meet that need and then out of that relationship, we can introduce them to the Father that loves them more than they can possibly imagine and longs to be connected with them for eternity.

Christian 'Religion' or Life

2006-11-14T14:29:00.000-06:00

Is God real? Can I really talk to him and hear from him? These are questions that you might begin to ask if you were to spend some time in a typical congregation these days. I've been a follower of Christ for 21 years and in all that time I've only recently heard anyone talk about living relationally with our Father. Before that, I heard plenty about rule keeping or knowledge acquisition, but that's about it. But those things don't transform a life like a relationship with Father does, they only produce the outward appearance. Ted Haggard is the perfect example of someone who can have an outward appearance (for a while), but not be transformed on the inside. Maybe now that the illusion has been torn down, Mr. Haggard will be able to go on a real journey with Jesus.

I recently was listening to a podcast called "When you can't play the game anymore" when they made this interesting statement:

"To be successful in our religious system does not demand someone be engaged in a transforming relationship with Jesus Christ."

How true that is, and how sad that is. You don't have to know Christ to be considered 'Spiritual', you only have to know how to play the game.

Inauthentic

2006-11-08T09:46:00.000-06:00

I was reading "Dear Church, letters from a disillusioned generation" this morning and came across a quote in the book that really resonated with me:

"Twentysomethings don't want 'the victorious Christian life,' they want to be allowed to struggle. When the pastor, the Sunday school teacher, or the Bible study leader speak (week after week) about how things ought to be without telling the church how badly they themselves have blown it, young adults write them off as inauthentic."
Mike Sares, Pastor at Scum of the Earth Church -- quoted in 'Dear Church'

Though I'm not a twentysomething, I definitely share that same view these days. But I have to confess that there was a time in my life when I thought that everyone in the congregation was really living the 'victorious Christina life', except me. By that I mean that I thought that I was the only one who struggled, and had doubts. These days however, I know better; most just hide it well. My wife and I have referred to the people who hide it well as "Happy Plastic People", but now I'm beginning to wonder if that is just a bit unfair; they are following the lead of their pastors or teachers after all. Maybe they only act that way because few dare to teach them how to live an authentic life in Christ, how to struggle, and how your doubts can actually be a springboard into a deeper walk with Christ.

If you haven't guessed by now, I'm daring to be authentic; I'm daring to look to Jesus rather than look to the congregation; some think I'm crazy, but I can't seem to get this great old hymn out of my head....

"Though none go with me, I still will follow...."

Deja Vu

2006-11-03T11:49:00.000-06:00

One of my strongest early memories is the first time I experienced deja vu. I was looking out my grandmother's apartment window saw 2 people crossing the parking lot and realized that I had seen this before in a dream. Over the years I had come to dismiss this and a couple of other times I experienced deja vu as just some freaky copy error in my brain that only made me think I had 2 separate memories of the same event, but the deja vu that I experienced a couple of weeks ago is a little harder to explain.

My mother had come into town to help me watch the kids while my wife was in Thailand on a mission trip. She was getting ready to take 2 of my kids to a carnival at their school and was asking me some questions about the carnival when the deja vu hit, only this time I recognized it before it was over! I knew what she was going to ask next, and I was tempted to blurt out the answer before she asked it, but then it wouldn't be deja vu any more would it? So I waited to see if I was really right about the next question. Then it came, "How long is the Carnival?" I was right! How do I explain that? Copy error + lucky guess? A lucky guess doesn't adequately explain why I 'remembered' her question before she asked it. I don't know what to think about this one.

Cue Twilight Zone theme.....

Rooted and established in love...

2006-11-02T22:31:00.000-06:00

I was reading in Ephesians today and came across the following familiar passage:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:14-21 (Emphasis Mine)

I don't know how many times I've read these particular verses before without ever noticing that small phrase. But this time it struck me because I'm starting to notice this theme all over the New Testament -- being rooted and established in love. It's the idea that this is the starting point in our relationship with Christ; this was what the cross was all about -- For God so loved..... We need to understand and be secure in His love for us before we can move on to anything else in our walk with Him. This understanding will free us to love and trust him, and will rid us of the need to protect ourselves from others. It also frees us from sin because we will trust that his ways are truly the best for us. What freedom His love brings!